Celebrating the Single Life.

sex and the city woman's right to shoes

A colleague at my day job is getting married. This would be a non-issue to me but our site manager decided to throw a morning tea and send around a card an envelope of cash to go towards a wedding present for her, an unprecedented gesture. Sure, there’s been going away parties and maternity leave soirees, but never before have we been asked as an organisation to help celebrate the marriage of a colleague.

Like Carrie Bradshaw in Sex & the City, I couldn’t help but wonder about the episode in which her shoes get stolen at a baby shower which leads Carrie to question the amount of money she’s spent on her attached and parenting friends when no one has done the same for her. “We all have birthdays,” Carrie retorts when Charlotte offers that as a day that everyone lauds you. And while not even close friends can sometimes make it to birthday galas (for those who choose to acknowledge the day with celebration), we certainly don’t get conference rooms reserved, Outlook events created and envelopes circulating the workplace every time we turn a year older.

As someone who doesn’t know if she’ll get married and who doesn’t want kids, workplace gatherings celebrating these milestones will likely never happen for me. (Never mind that I don’t hope to be working in that company when these hypothetical events would roll around.) After six years’ service I’ll probably get a shindig when I leave but the party is not the point. Nor is the fact that there have been many other people to have gotten married in my time there and no such fuss was made about them. *cough* Favouritism *cough*.

Why should people who subscribe to the boring notion of marriage, kids, one career for life and a weatherboard in the suburbs be celebrated for doing exactly what society expects? We have plenty of gay colleagues, for example; isn’t that just rubbing it in their faces? I’m content enough with my decisions not to go down the abovementioned route that I’m not going to let one little event notification shame me into submission but what about someone who’s marriage has just broken down. Or someone who can’t have children or who has lost a child when the inevitable maternity leave announcement occurs?

You may chalk it up to being a Negative Nancy and pooping on free food and an excuse to get out of work. But until the lifestyles of people from all walks of life are respected enough to throw a party for them just because (and let’s be honest, weddings—and divorces!—are common enough that this really is throwing a party just because), celebrate it on your own time.

Image via Pinterest.

On the (Rest of the) Net

I wrote about your heroes letting you down. [TheVine]

I’m going to be contributing a link roundup for feminaust on the first Monday of every month and guess what? My first edition went live this week. Much of it is links I’ve already posted here over the past week, but head on over and check it—and feminaust—out anyway.

ICYMI: If these links didn’t sate you enough, I’ve posted the best of Aussie and Kiwi online feminism in December for the 80th Down Under Feminists Carnival.

How to be alone as a woman:

“To be alone is to be eccentric. To be alone and a girl is to be nuts.” [Spook Magazine]

How to find a feminist partner. [WaPo]

Is Kanye West this generation’s John Lennon? [Junkee]

How can women “act their age” in Hollywood when Hollywood won’t let them? [Junkee]

We need to change the language surrounding sexual assault prevention. [Daily Life]

2014 was the year that TV changed… for the better. [Junkee]

Elle magazine asked male celebs the questions women get asked on the red carpet: “It feels invasive.”

Make fun of The Nanny all you want, but it was actually pretty progressive television for its time. [TheVine]

The rise of the viral public marriage proposal. [Buzzfeed]

The difference between flight attendants and stewardesses, or, why you shouldn’t call modern-day flight attendants stewardesses. [Flight Club]

How the costuming in Selma helps illustrate the dawning of the civil rights movement. [The Root]

Ed Sheeran is a NiceGuyTM. [Pitchfork]

The Lebanese-American porn star getting death threats for performing in a hijab. [Salon]

On the (Rest of the) Net.

 

Post of the week: Catherine Deveny on body love. [MamaMia]

On sexual harassment and “nightclub feminist success”. [Musings of an Inappropriate Woman]

Atheists are just as bad as rapists… and feminists. [Jezebel]

Lingerie football. What do you think? Personally, I’m not a huge fan of playing sports in underwear, but I don’t have much of a problem with it. [MamaMia]

“The Problem with My Week with Marilyn.” [Jezebel]

All long-term monogamous relationships are a transaction, says Ms. Elouise, so what’s the big problem with “paying your wife for sex”? [Feminaust]

Facebook, girl-hate and “I’m a better feminist than you” tête-à-têtes. [Howling Clementine]

XOJane on the message Breaking Dawn sends to virgins.

The Manic Pixie Dream Girl trope extends to indie films, too. [The Atlantic]

iPhone 4S’ Siri is pro-life, apparently. [Gizmodo]

When hemlines rise, so does bitchiness. [Jezebel]

Stella Young on the disability pension myth. [MamaMia]

Former Wordsmith Laner Sarah Ayoub-Christie tries to reconcile her modern marriage with her traditional Lebanese upbringing. [MamaMia]

“Teaching Good Sex” in school. What a novel idea! [New York Times]

Men in porn:

“The straight male performer must be attractive enough to serve as a prop, but not so attractive that he becomes the object of desire. As [porn publicist, Adella] Curry puts it, ‘No one wants to alienate the male audience’.” [Good]

Image via MamaMia.

On the (Rest of the) Net.

 

“A Brief History of the Bump Watch.”

And for any preggo Scarlett Women out there, this one’s also for you: “What You NEVER, Not in a Million Years, Expect When You’re Expecting”.

Dodai Stewart discovers the benefits of jeggings.

In the wake of St. Kilda’s most recent sex scandal (Ricky Nixon and the same underage girl who released damaging nude photos of St. Kilda players Nick Riewoldt and Nick Dal Santo in December, for those of you who have been under a rock the last week or so), Hawthorn’s Lance Franklin has released a sexist line of t-shirts.

Also with the St. Kilda Schoolgirl Scandal, Round 2, Mia Freedman writes:

“… I think it’s extremely interesting how she is indeed redressing the power imbalance between a 17-year-old girl and high profile AFL players and managers. She’s using social media and traditional media in ways that have been both surprising and disturbing to watch.”

Freedman shares her views on Justin Bieber’s recent abortion comments, as well. More on this to come next week.

For all the single ladies (put your hands up!), “10 More Reasons You’re Not Married”, which include such gems as “you’re not good enough at fellatio or you’re too good at fellatio,” “you are too fat or too skinny” and “you want children too much and/or not enough”. It seems we can’t (or can) win.

Guest Girl with a Satchel blogger, Georgie Carroll of Frangipani Princess, talks teen magazines. “… My favourite day of the month is still when the newest issues hit the stand”; mine too.

On femme fatales.

Jenna Sauers attends a Fashion Week PETA party and “talks about animals with Tim Gunn”. Interesting stuff.

Are Lady Gaga and Rihanna really original, or “stealing other artists’ work”?

Are you a fan of kangaroo meat? Read this; it might change your mind:

“Like the seal trade, it’s brutal, but it happens away from our view, at night in the bush. According to the law, adult kangaroos should be killed by a single shot to the brain.  But in reality, many are injured in the neck or the body, and flee into the bush where they die slowly and painfully.

“What’s even less known is the terrible fate of joeys, just like the one Ray waded into turbulent flood waters to save: over a million a year are killed each year along with their mothers. How? The hunter stomps on the pouch joey’s head, or bludgeons him or her with a metal pipe.  This is enough to make you think twice about ever putting roo on the menu. The young outside the pouch are shot through the heart or head.”

Images via Romantic Dreaming, Juciytings.