Lady Most Likely: Time Magazine’s 100 Most Influential People

Every time I turn on the readio, it seems like there’s a Will.I.Am collaboration (“3 Words” with Cheryl Cole; Usher’s “OMG”; “Imma Be” with Black Eyed Peas) or Will.I.Am sounding collaboration (“Nothin’ on You” by B.o.B.; “If We Ever Meet Again” by former über-producer Timbaland and Katy Perry) getting airtime. The BEP front man may indeed be the new Timabland, so I was surprised he didn’t make it onto the list. There’s always next year, I suppose…

Someone who did make it on, though, is Lady Gaga.

Cyndi Lauper, Gaga’s partner-in-crime for the MAC AIDS Fund, profiles her for possibly the most talked about ranking this year. I have no doubt Gaga is the most influential person in entertainment today, as she’s collaborating with and inspiring the fashion, beauty, art, advertising, music and film worlds with her own performance artas Lauper writes, “she is inspiring other artists to go further in their own work”and striking up water cooler conversation with her boundary pushing antics, both onstage and off.

Time is spot on in naming Marc Jacobs the only influential fashion figure. Jacobs, who is profiled by fellow fashionista and friend, Victoria Beckham, glamorised grunge, began the bag lady chic movement, and is now championing voluptuousness in his new season looks for Louis Vuitton and his titular line. Perhaps Karl Lagerfeld and Anna Wintour would have made welcome additions, but Jacobs certainly has the respect of all facets of the fashion world his peers, his models, his muses and his loyal subjects.

I am utterly dumbfounded to not see George Clooney on the list. Not only did he single-handedly organise the Hope for Haiti Now telethon but, like a fine wine, he only gets better with age.

In other “Artists” notes, shoe in Oprah is profiled by Phil Donahue, while her partner, “Mr Oprah” Stedman Graham makes the Least Influential list (more on that below); Robert Pattinson is bafflingly included (for influencing legions of teens and, worryingly, tweens ready and willing to let Pattinson bite them? Perhaps Brad and Angelina would have been better choices, as they actually contribute something to societyas well as being really, really ridiculously good looking. Or even Stephenie Meyer, without whom Pattinson wouldn’t have an Edward Cullen to broodingly portray); and “new media mogul” Ashton Kutcher, whom I was pleasantly surprised to see on the list.

Of course, President Obama makes an appearance as one of, if not the most influential leaders. While he certainly is the most well-known leader on the list, whether he’s been as influential as he could have during his first year in the presidency is a point of contention for a lot of politicos and American citizens.

My second favourite President (after Obama, George W. Bush is the only other President whose reign I was [un]lucky enough to grow up during, so Clinton wins via default), I find Bill Clinton funny, charming and smartalthough, hey may not have been utilising the latter during Lewinskygate. Nonetheless, he’s making positive change, and that’s all that matters here.

On the other hand, former vice-presidential candidate Sarah Palin makes the list. She is certainly fascinating and controversial, but I wouldn’t call her influential. Perhaps she would be more at home on Barbara Walters’ annual most fascinating people list?

Speaking of other lists, on page 96 you will find Joel Stein’s “The Time Bum Hundred”, relaying how he chronicled the 100 least influential people of 2010, split into “four categories… Losers, Flameouts, Morons and Slimy Bastards”. The complete list is not available in the mag, but it is on Time’s website.

Here is a sneak peak of “the Least Influential People Who Used to or Ought to Have Influence”, not including babies (who really are the least influential people in the world!), “the tattooed chick who messed up Sandra Bullocks’ marriage” (negative influence), and Tiger Woods, who just had a “bad year”, but is “still immensely influential, only now his influence lies in preventing men from texting their mistresses”: the Tom Tom GPS navigation system; “We Are the World 25 for Haiti”; Paula Adbul; Michael Jackson’s doctor, Dr. Conrad Murray who, unfortunately, was influential enough last year to play a key role in the death of Michael Jackson; Joaquin Phoenix; gay-disapprover, sex tape “without any sex” star and Former Miss California Carrie Prejean; “first dog” Bo Obama; George Clooney’s ex, Sarah Larson; former MTV TRL host Carson Daly; questionably, The Doors, who “actually sucked and just had a handsome lead singer”; Grover; Carrot Top; news anchor Katie Couric; John Edwards; the quintessential douche bag reality show dropout, Jon Gosselin; keeping it in the familyLindsay and Michael Lohan; Jersey Shore outcast Angelina Pivarnick; Bernie Madoff; Levi Johnston; Tila Tequila; Nicollette Sheridan; witches (“Charmed was like, ten years ago. It’s all about vampires, werewolves and zombies now”); anddrum roll pleaseSpencer Pratt and Heidi Montag, collectively known as Speidi. Let’s hope Heidi truly is uninfluential, especially for The Hills‘ primarily teen audience’ssake, or we could have an army of over-inflated, frozen-foreheaded Barbie clones on our hands.

Extreme Makeover: Jersey Girls

I bought the May issue of Harper’s Bazaar US for the sole purpose of seeing the Jersey Shore girlsSnooki, Sammi & JWowwout of their usual uniforms of too-short short shorts, “pleather leggings” and acrylic nails and into something a little more classy.

My first instinct while watching the show was to cover my eyes but, like a car crash, it’s just too fascinating not to watch. Jersey Shore is nearing the end of season one on Australian screens, but never fear Snooki, the Situation and co. are currently filming season two.

On the whole, Bazaar was disappointing, but the beautiful shots of the girlsin particular those of Sammiin formal wear was worth it alone.

I found the accompanying article patronising and it pigeonholed the girls, who I do think have good hearts and minds underneath it allyou just have to chisel through the mountains of silicone and hair extensions to get to them. It has nothing, though, on Interview’s spread on the Jersey boys, Mike “the Situation”, Pauly D, Ronnie and Vinnie, which was quite revealing and made me see most of the guidos in a different light.

Mike, you’re still a douche.

The Plastic Backlash.

famous plastic surgery

This week’s Famous runs a promising story on the decline of plastic surgery in Hollywood or, at least, the fact that “casting directors and producers are increasingly refusing to hire actresses who display signs of obvious surgery”.

The article on page 6, making it one of the magazines top stories this week, offers a pictorial display of the stars who may be facing unemployment due to the new movement, including Heidi Montag, Audrina Patridge, Ashlee Simpson and Megan Fox, along with the contention that casting directors are moving towards “Oz and the UK” because we have “more natural-looking actresses”, such as Teresa Palmer, Isabel Lucas and Rachel Taylor.

It’s a welcome and comforting change to read this kind of article, hot on the heels of Pirates of the Caribbean producers sending out a casting call with the express condition that actresses with “natural breasts only” need apply.

However, the article signs off with a quote from Pirates casting agent Sande Alessi:

“I don’t really mind if these stars do a tiny bit of something, but it just can’t be obvious”.

Maybe we still have a ways to go?

On a side note, the very next page features a spread on the numerous (alleged) surgeries of the Kardashian family. Last week’s cover girl and guest editor is this week’s before-and-after exemplar.