S*#! My Dad Says


Now a sitcom starring William Shatner, S*#! My Dad Says was inspired by writer Justin Halpern’s father, when he found himself “newly dumped and apartment-less” and “spending a lot of time around the house with his father.” A Twitter page with 1.3 million followers and a book later, S*#! My Dad Says is taking not just the internet world by storm. Here are a few choice phrases from Samuel Halpern:

“YOU, a published writer?… Internet don’t count. Any asshole can throw shit up on there.”

“A parent’s only as good as their dumbest kid. If one wins a Nobel Prize but the other gets robbed by a hooker, you failed.”

“The worst thing you can be is a liar… Okay fine, yes, the worst thing you can be is a Nazi, but THEN, number two is a liar. Nazi 1, Liar 2.”

“Can we talk later? The news is on… Well, if you have tuberculosis, it’s not gonna get any worse in the next 30 minutes. Jesus.”

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