The morning after I wrote “You Give Men a Bad Name” I woke to an email in my inbox from the subject of the post.
I took a deep breath and prepared myself for the ripping of a new asshole.
However, I was pleasantly surprised.
He apologised for not returning my email, explained why he didn’t, and acknowledged that he had been a douchebag and that I deserve to be treated better.
Not what I was expecting AT ALL.
As I told him, I never expected him to ever see the post. The blog is publicised on Facebook, but only two of my friends actually read my stuff on the regular. I find it easier to write unselfconsciously when I think no one’s going to read it. Dancing like no one’s watching, or something.
But, while I still think he should have “manned humanned up” in the first instance and just called me back to say thanks, but no thanks, I have to commend him for his response to criticism. Not many people can respond to being called out like that and acknowledge that they were wrong.
A couple of close friends who I told about the email responded in a myriad of ways: one cried; one grimaced; one said they didn’t see anything good about the email because he still had to be called out by me; and one called it incredibly sweet.
But all that really matters is what I thought of it, and I thought it was quite noble. His backstory allowed me to understand why he did the things he did (or didn’t do the things he didn’t do). It provided me with closure and has allowed me to move on. And it made me realise that he doesn’t give men a bad name.
Related: You Give Men a Bad Name.
Elsewhere: [The Good Men Project] Manning Up.