The American Pie franchise is not my idea of a good movie quartet (not including the spin offs that didn’t feature the original cast. American Pie: Band Camp, anyone?). The only real reason I went to see American Reunion last night was because I thought it would make for good blog fodder. On that front, I was sorely disappointed. It was not the outrageously sexist toilet-humour fest I thought it would be.
Now, don’t get me wrong, there were still plenty of shit, penis and “vag” jokes, but compared to last week’s cinema outing, American Pie ain’t got nothin’ on Mirror Mirror’s underhanded sexism.
A couple of gripes I did have about the movie’s portrayal of women were the utter debasement of the actress—who played Jim’s ex-babysitting client, Cara—Ali Cobrin, and the fact that Loni Lipstien, purveyor of Stifler’s high school blowjob heaven, is now a “fatty”, unworthy of sucking Steve’s dick.
Gratuitous nudity is an American Pie staple, but an unknown actress whose character, conveniently, just turned 18 getting drunk out of her mind, stripping, and passing out, leaving Jim to lug her unconscious, topless body out of the teen’s car, through her garden and into her bed was just too much.
On the other hand, there’s the gorgeous Loni who, thirteen years later, got fat (played by the beautiful actress Rebecca Field) and demanded Stifler get her off in a secluded bathroom of his house before she went anywhere near his penis. After she comes and, to paraphrase Sex & the City’s Miranda, ends up all over Stifler’s face (including, distastefully and unrealistically, her pubic hairs), she rejects him like he has done many a time to many a woman.
I liked the way Stifler was portrayed as a thirty-something man-child in a temp job who still lives at home with his mum, as opposed to the brash professional kingpin of some entrepreneurial venture who specialises in sexual harassment (although that last part is still true) that I envisioned him to be going into the movie. It just goes to show that nice guys don’t always finish last. Sometimes the douchebags do, too.
Speaking of douchebags, I’ve never been a fan of Chris Klein. I always thought he was too perfect-looking, with his perfect hair, perfect suits, perfect-sounding voice, and perfect, identical-looking girlfriends (Katie Holmes and Ginnifer Goodwin). And that sickly sweet way he half-whispered, “… like warm apple pie,” creeped me out to no end. However, I loved him in this! Klein, and by extension, Oz, got hot! New favourite American Pie character: Chris Ostreicher (in a world where “favourite” means having your arm twisted behind your back until you have to make a choice).
While American Reunion won’t be winning any awards (do the Razzie’s count?), at least I can say I gave it a chance and I didn’t get burned.
*Blanket spoiler alert.
Related: Mirror Mirror Review.
Image via IMDb.