Event: Unfinished Business at the Melbourne International Comedy Festival.

If you’ve ever wondered what goes into a Melbourne International Comedy Festival gig, Unfinished Business, the brainchild of Laura Money and Kieran Eaton, answers all your questions, including “can a couple do a comedy show together?”

Yes, they can.

Unfinished Business begins with Laura arriving home from a day at work, where Kieran greets her with toilet humour and “fat beats about wanking”, which got the show off to a shaky but promising start.

Knowing Laura and Kieran personally, it was fun to see their odd-couple dynamic come alive on stage as they fictionally battled for who would headline this year’s MICF show, as they can only afford for one of them to enter the festival. Kieran likens his lady love to a potato, professing that he “likes my women like my potatoes”: in a brown jacket (insert a conveniently brown t-shirt-clad Laura). Sometimes he even likes them mashed up and to stick carrots inside.

Kieran does have a certain odd-ball quality, which he milks for all it’s worth, likening his social awkwardness to a mild case of autism, to which Laura replies, “Maybe I should apply for a carer’s card?” Joke of the night.

Meanwhile, Laura brings her signature sarcastic bitchiness to the table, mocking a girl she works with, whom she likes to call the “OMG girl”, which was totes, like, epic and shit, and a brilliant take on pretentious Toorak mums with their “prams the size of the Himalayas”, “babychinos” and “gluten-free, sugarless biscotti’s” when they’re actually “looking wistfully over at the lemon meringue pie and thinking, ‘If only I could separate eggs’.”

The show culminates in the duo giving us their best comedic scenarios and one-liners, including a fabulous “I did I.T. at uni cos I liked the book by Steven King” quip.

If you’re into independent comedy and have a spare $12 left over from seeing the Akmals Saleh’s, Danny Bhoy’s and Catherine Deveny’s, you should check out Unfinished Business. And not just because Kieran and Laura spared me $12 (media pass; score!) to say that!

Related: On Stripping.

Event: Gustave Moreau’s The Eternal Feminine Exhibition at the National Gallery of Victoria.

If you haven’t seen “The Eternal Feminine” exhibition by Gustave Moreau at NGV yet, hop to it, because it closes this weekend.

The exhibition only displays a fraction of Moreau’s work, focusing on his interpretation of the female: “strong and often dangerous” femme fatales. I was particularly intrigued by the powerful, yet controversial women he chose to paint, like Salome, the daughter of the Greek/Jewish Herodias, his response to the Unicorn tapestries, and women of the Bible.

Here are some choice excerpts from the exhibition:

On Femme Fatales.

“The term ‘femme fatale’… emerged in the middle of the nineteenth century, when patriarchal attitudes to women began to shift as a direct outcome of the growth of the middle class. Greater prosperity, brought about by the opening up of trade and the adoption of new technologies, also saw women beginning to advocate for access to high education, married women’s property rights, equal status in sexual mores and, ultimately, the vote. In France, where the Code Napoleon had defined the status of women as being the property of man, the ‘new woman’ challenged the traditional image of woman as mother and homemaker, virtuous, sexually repressed and above all else subordinate to her husband.

“The femme fatale, as an extreme contrast, was characterized as worldly, alluring and independent, with a predatory nature that was ultimately destructive to any man who fell victim to her seductive powers. Unlike the passive, Romantic heroine who existed in an aesthetic realm of erotic lassitude, she propelled a negative energy of malevolence and sadomasochism.”

On The Lady & the Unicorn.

“The cryptic, religious symbolism of the unicorn exemplifies in equal measure the essence of the medieval period and the occult spiritualism of late nineteenth century French culture. In medieval times the unicorn was associated with notions of chastity, pure love and the taming of animal passions. The legendary unicorn was reputed to be so wild that it could only be tamed by the purest of virgins, to whom it would come voluntarily for protection and comfort. He [Moreau] described his painting, ‘somewhat cryptically, as an “enchanted isle with a gathering of women, providing the most precious pretext for all the plastic motifs”’.”

On The Bible.

“Inevitably, Moreau’s choice of Biblical women as subjects was directed not toward the ideal and virtuous… But to women whose virtue had been compromised as a result of their possession of a physical beauty that attracted the attention of men, with dire consequences. Though not as dangerous as their alter egos, the femmes fatales—with whom engagement or congress was invariably fatal for the male—these women also shared a compelling attractiveness to the opposite sex.”

I also loved Moreau’s “Ulysses & the Sirens” works, and the room dedicated solely to Salome was worth the $15 cover charge alone.

Guest Post: Leaving on a Jet Plane.

My first memory of the airport is fragmented: seeing my cousin off to Berlin a couple of years after the fall of the wall, all I remember is a green glow emanating from Tullamarine airport (which is more than likely a figment of my imagination), playing with a plastic toy set of some kind bought for me by my grandparents at the gift shop, and the smell of The Body Shop’s cocoa butter moisturiser.

Almost fifteen years later I made my return to the terminal, my first ever flight being en route to San Francisco via Sydney as part of a US exchange program. It was scary, and a lonely trip overall, but it instilled in me the travel bug.

Twenty plane rides later, I’m hoping my next trip will be to New York for my 25th birthday in 2012. It’s been nearly two years since I’ve travelled anywhere interesting, unless you count the two hour train journey from Melbourne to my country Victorian hometown, which I don’t!

Personally, my favourite thing about travelling is the interrupted reading time; up to 20 hours on some flights! The atmosphere of the airport, with all its luxury stores, newsagents and overpriced food bars, comes in a close second, so after reading Chris Guillebeau’s “For the Love of Airports” piece on The Art of Non-Conformity, I solicited my high-school best friend, Natalie, who I remember being obsessed with aerospace travel, to write a post on her love of airports.

Airports have always been a favourite place of mine; having grown up travelling overseas every couple of years since I was an infant I have fond and happy memories of the terminals. Although it’s so large, there is somehow an atmosphere of warmth amongst the hustle and bustle at the airport. I love that you can be there any time of the day—morning, noon or night—and see so many people heading in all directions to catch flights. Just watching them, wondering where are they off to…

My favourite memory of going to an airport was probably the most disastrous start to a family holiday. It was the day before Christmas Eve and my family and I were headed to New Zealand for the holidays. We had many delays and ended up getting a free overnight stay at Tullamarine’s Travelodge Hotel in the interim. Although it was stressful and annoying for my parents, I really enjoyed all the excitement of having to shuttle our way to the hotel and knowing we would be returning to the vibrancy of the airport the next morning; anything to prolong my time there!

To me, airports symbolise many things. Often the happiness of reunions between families and friends, the enjoyment of embarking on a holiday, and the sadness of seeing someone off [Scarlett Woman note: I will be seeing my good friend April off indefinitely to Canada in a couple of weeks. I will be packing tissues]. At times, airports can be stressful, scary and unpredictable but they’re also mesmerising and intriguing to me. I could sit in a cosy departure lounge all day with my face pressed against the warm glass, marvelling at just how those big airbuses get off the ground. Sometimes the airport is more thrilling than the journey, because there’s always so much to look forward to: café food, duty free shopping and my favourite of all, the smell of aeroplane fuel! Strange, I know, but it always sends those airport memories flooding back…

Elsewhere: [The Art of Non-Conformity] For the Love of Airports.

Magazines: The Secret Life of Bees.

 

In last fortnight’s Big Issue, there was a fascinating article about Colony Collapse Disorder of beehives.

Since 2004, “bees across the US and parts of Europe began abandoning their hives,” a phenomenon “which has bypassed Australia (so far).”

The article discusses how Colony Collapse Disorder (CCD) is diagnosed:

“The [abandoned frames] all had honey in them, indicating that there had been plenty of food. They were filled with young larvae, meaning the bees, usually fiercely maternal, had abandoned their young. There were no signs of moths or pests that normally invade sick colonies. And… [keepers] couldn’t find any dead bees.”

what it means for us, as consumers:

“Roughly one in every three mouthfuls of food we eat depends on the humble honeybee. But honey production is a relatively minor aspect of bees’ contribution, It’s their pollination of plants, in their unending quest for nectar, that most deserves our gratitude. About 90 fruit and vegetable varieties… are much more productive with the assistance of bees.”

how we can rectify this situation:

“… The international citizens’ watchdog group, Avaaz, has circulated a petition… [that] calls upon the US and EU to join the ban on neonicotinoid pesticides, which some independent researchers now cite as the cause of CCD.”

and what’s already being done by people such as Melbournian Lyndon Fenlon, “bees’ champion extraordinaire”:

“He is ingenious at locating suitable sites to build new hives, whether in scrapyards, disused factories, backyards… There are now hives on the roof of a railway station in Belgium and even atop the Paris Opera House.”

Sounds similar to the the plot of Bee Movie!

Related: The Big Issue Review: March 1-14, 2011.

Images via YouTube.

Magazine Review: The Big Issue, 1–14 March, 2011.

Did you know that there are approximately 7.5 readers for every copy of The Big Issue sold? Which is great for circulating The Big Issue’s content to different kinds of readers, it sucks for the people selling copies out the front of The Body Shop (where I was first exposed to the magazine in my hometown of Bendigo in country Victoria) or at Parliament train station, where I picked up this week’s copy.

But when I read those stats on Girl with a Satchel a couple of weeks ago, I wasn’t surprised. A colleague of mine usually brings in his copy to the staff lunchroom, which makes the rounds at work. He’s gone overseas for a few weeks, so I decided to be the one to provide the communal Big Issue during that time. I do hope that more people will fork out the fortnightly five bucks it costs to be exposed to some great Australian writing (“compared with $4.70 for your weekly copy of Who) but until then, I can take solace in the fact that I did my bit.

There’s still a week left to get your paws on a copy, and I suggest you do, as there are some great articles in there, a lot of them dealing with the social revolution tool that is Twitter, which features on the cover. And for you us pop-culture junkies, there’s Liz and Shane and their Twitter antics, too:

“Celebrities, meanwhile, have embraced Twitter as an opportunity to prove their Everyman concerns without having to directly engage with, well, every man or woman. Kourtney Kardashian, for example, recently tweeted her two-million followers: ‘Does anyone else get scared that being on their phones too much or sleeping with your phone near u is so bad? Or am I paranoid?’ I wonder how many fruitlessly replied, ‘Omg, I totes have a brain tumour! We should be BFFs!’ (Note to tweenie Tweeters: she couldn’t care less.)” (p. 15).

You’re such a visionary, Kourtney!

On a more serious note, editor Alan Attwood writes of the similarly prophetic Steven Johnson from Time magazine, who wrote ‘How Twitter Will Change the Way We Live’:

“He argued that all those tiny tweets add up ‘to something truly substantive, like a suspension bridge made of pebbles’. He concluded: ‘The weather reports keep announcing that the sky is falling, but here we are—millions of us—sitting around trying to invent new ways to talk to one another.’ And that, surely, can’t be a bad thing” (p. 4).

We’ve read all the articles about Twitter being a valuable tool for social change, particularly in Egypt, and there’s no shortage of that in the feature article, from which the above Kardashian quote is garnered. Worth the $5 cover price for this article alone.

Another article I loved this fortnight was Patrick Witton’s on “Sharing the Load” of the hellish daily commute.

I wrote last week about two friends of mine who spend at least two hours in their car getting to and from work each day, which sounds like my worst nightmare. Sure, I used to travel upwards of four hours to work from my aforementioned hometown, but that was on the train, where I could get valuable reading, sleeping and daydreaming done. Driving to work allows the driver to indulge in (hopefully) only one of those activities. Then again, I don’t have a license, so I have no idea how much daydreaming gridlock allows…

Witton profiles the car-pooling phenomenon in America, where there are designated pick-up and drop-off points, between which complete strangers ride in silence, and drivers take advantage of the express car-pool lanes. Like a bus, but without the mentally disturbed drunk espousing the apocalypse.

There’s also the teenagers in Jakarta, who make a living from hitchhiking along the highways, getting paid to be picked up so solitary drivers can hightail it to work in the express lane.

Fascinating stuff.

Elsewhere: [Girl with a Satchel] The Big Issue Blitzes Readership Survey (But are Aussies Being Tight?)

Event: Really Nice Day Cabaret.

Tucked away in the quirky privacy of The Butterfly Club in South Melbourne last night was the debut show of Christine Moffat’s left-of-centre cabaret, Really Nice Day.

It deals with the strained relationship of unlucky-in-love Kitty Day and her piano player, Joe (or “Houdini… whatever”) who has been forcibly coerced into providing the soundtrack to Kitty’s tragicomic love story. And forcibly coerced = tied to the piano using the same knots her mother did when tethering Kitty to her own piano as a child. The apple doesn’t fall far from the tree…

The show started out a little bit rocky, with what I assumed was first night jitters, but then went full steam ahead for about an hour, with such musical gems as The Cardigans’ “Lovefool” and Wham!’s “Freedom” (not to be mistaken for George Michael’s supermodel-solo hit, “Freedom ’90”. I’ve affixed a YouTube clip of the single below for your viewing pleasure) making appearances.

Expect a teensy bit of “imaginary” audience interaction, which isn’t hard, as the endearing Kitty brings out the crazy (in) love in all of us. Emphasis on the crazy.

But really, what’s a homicidal girl to do? You’ll have to see Really Nice Day to find out. Tickets available on the night from The Butterfly Club, online and over the phone (9690 2000).

Related: Event Preview: Really Nice Day Cabaret.

Elsewhere: [The Butterfly Club] Christine Moffat in Really Nice Day.

[The Butterfly Club] Location.

Image via Pro Talent Sites.

Event Preview: Really Nice Day Cabaret.

If you see one thing this weekend, make it Christine Moffat as the slightly-psychotic Kitty Day in Really Nice Day.

Showing from this Thursday 3rd March to Sunday 8th March at The Butterfly Club in South Melbourne, the show deals with the love of Kitty’s life leaving her. All she wants is someone to sympathise with her; a friend. So she went out and strapped one to her piano, and thus, Really Nice Day was born.

Featuring songs from Elvis Costello, The Whitlams and Moffat’s own compositions, it should be a rip-roaring good night.

And remember, silence is golden, but duct tape is silver.

Tickets available from The Butterfly Club,  $18–$22. Stay tuned for a review just in time for the weekend.

Elsewhere: [The Butterfly Club] Christine Moffat in Really Nice Day.

[Pro Talent Sites] Christine Moffat, Actor.

Image via Pro Talent Sites.

Magazines: Independent Zine Zinm Preview.

 

Last week I was lucky enough to be featured in a friend of a friend’s Melbourne-based zine, Zinm by Marc Bonnici.

Our mutual friend Anthony had been urging me to check out his self-titled blog for the better part of a year, until I happened upon last month’s copy of Zinm that he’d brought to a get-together.

I was instantly drawn in as I briefly flicked through the pages, a picture from Mean Girls staying most clearly in my mind. (“Burn Book” is a regular feature of Zinm.)

Try as I might, I was never able to get my mitts on a copy of last month’s edition, but better still, I was able to be featured in this month.

As Australia Day rolls around again, guest contributors Anita Calavetta, Marc Bergmann, Dodie Smith, and Muriel Barbery, as well as Marc himself, muse about what Australia means to us. Yours truly continues on her plight to get the safety net for footballers behaving badly removed, as I feel that is a strong part of Aussie culture.

Unfortunately there are not any copies of the latest edition available, as there is a limited print run. But the title has doubled in demand since its inception three issues ago. If you are interested in bagging a copy, I suggest you check out Marc’s blog and drop him a line.

Us independent writers have got to stick together.

Related: Beauty & the Bestiality.

Why Are Famous Men Forgiven for Their Wrongdoings, While Women Are Vilified for Much Less?

Bad Boys, Whatcha Gonna Do? Host a Seven Family Show.

Elsewhere: [Marc Bonnici] Homepage.

Whipped Cream Feminism: The Underlying Message in Katy Perry’s “California Gurls” Video.

I’d been wanting to break out a whipped cream bra for a future Halloween, but seeing as I’ve already got my costumes planned for the next five years, my friend April suggested I bust it out (get it?) for our friend Eddie’s bad taste themed birthday this past weekend, thus keeping it relevant.

I was enormously nervous about it, as it’s probably one of the most attention-seeking costumes I’ve ever worn—and that’s saying something! Also, the party was held at a pub in Melbourne Central! Luckily, I had the company of Joel Monaghan to share the humiliation with.

But, there was a message behind the madness; well, several actually. Allow me to elaborate.

#1. Though not related to the underlying message of Katy Perry’s video, in essence, my costume was totes an oxymoron. Because although it was derived from the worst taste film clip of the year, thus making it perfect bad taste party fodder, the costume actually tasted good (as photos of partygoers sampling my cans will attest).

#2. While “California Gurls” is highly sexualised, Perry is literally using her sexuality as a weapon: taking down Snoop Dogg’s “troop of gangsta gummis” with her whipped cream cans. In some ways, she is subverting the common perception of woman as sex object and turning her into a subject. It’s just heavily sugar coated and therefore easy to miss.

#3. As someone who is not such a fan of Perry’s (love her music; hate her), I tend to lean more towards shock value and über-sexuality as the means behind the video as opposed to the above argument.

Laura Money mentions in her guest post “On Stripping” the notion of “lipstick feminists”; I would argue that Perry is very much the “lipstick feminist”, though in this case she could be labelled a “whipped cream feminist”; using her sexuality purely for entertainment and shock value—and thus record sales and YouTube views.

So, Perry’s video and my costume were both making a statement; the former shock value and the latter best (worst?) bad taste costume (yes, I did win the unofficial vote!). While I tried to incorporate the above points into my costume to make a statement on feminism and to provide blog ammo, somehow I’m not so sure Perry did the same thing…

Related: Bad Taste Foxymorons.

The Witching Hour: Halloween/My Birthday at Witches in Britches Cabaret.

On Stripping.

’Tis the Season…

Beauty & the Bestiality.

Elsewhere: [SodaHead] Is Katy Perry’s “California Gurls” Video Exploitation or Feminism?

The Perils of Living with the Parentals.

I’m writing this after spending five nights over Christmas at my mum’s place; the home I moved out of eleven months ago.

It’s no secret that our mother-daughter relationship was strained in the final years of me paying board, and at sporadic intervals over the past year, so I approached this Christmas with some trepidation.

But I was oh-so-pleasantly surprised that there were no major arguments or fights (like last Christmas… and the Christmas before that, come to think of it!), and I found myself wanting to spend time at the family home, as opposed to only being there to sleep, eat and catch up on my TV shows, as was the case in the few months before I moved out.

MamaMia had a post up a few weeks ago from site contributor Lucy Ormonde, who is 23and still lives at home. Ormonde detailed the benefits of living at home, such as a free laundry service, lower rent/board costs and the comforts of having your family around.

Well I’m here to rebut those comments, listing my top five reasons for leaving…:

1. I needed some “me” time (long-time readers of this blog will know how important that is to me), without parents hounding me to hang out my washing or sisters yelling at me to turn my TV down. Now I hang out my damn washing when I can be bothered, and have to TV as loud as my heart ears desire (see above).

2. Independence. I’m quite an independent, solitary person by nature, and whilst living alone is hard fiscally, it helped me gain financial independence that I otherwise might not have.

3. Overstaying my welcome. While Ormonde is 23 and her living arrangement with her parents is still going strong, I feel I overstayed my welcome about two or three years. While I was not ready to go out into the big, wide world and fend for myself, my mum felt that I was, and that caused friction.

4. I’d been studying and working in Melbourne for four years before I made the move here from country Victoria, so it only made sense. It was also one of the best decisions I’ve ever made.

5. Cutting the apron strings. In this day and age, the apron strings are cut much later in life, as about half of my good friends would attest to. The other half would probably default to the rest of the points on this list as reasons for severing their family ties.

… and those for loving living out of home:

1. Doing what I want, when I want.

2. Developing my own decorating style, as opposed to working within the limits of my mother’s.

3. Having parties, board game nights and as many people stay over after a big night out as I want (or as many as my sofa arrangement will allow).

4. Getting up as early as I want to vacuum, make smoothies or watch morning television. Most normal people would say “sleeping as late as I want”, but since I grew out of the sleeping-til-1pm phase in high school, I’ve been an early riser. Now I can do noisy things in the morning without risking the wrath of late sleepers.

5. Taking the next step. A study in the New York Times lists “completing school, leaving home, becoming financially independent, marrying and having a child” as the milestones of “emerging adulthood”. Well I’ve achieved three of the five, so now I just need to get married and pop out some babies. Although, getting a boyfriend first might help…

Related: The 10 Commandments of Work/Life Balance.

Elsewhere: [MamaMia] I’m 23, I Live At Home & Here’s Why.

[The New York Times] What is it About 20-Somethings?