Guest Post: Double Standards.

When Scarlett said that she would appreciate an infrequent, but regular contribution to her blog from an anti-feminist perspective, I had no idea where to start. Everybody knows that various feminists all present an enormous variety of contrary positions masquerading as undeniable truths. However, due to a happy accident, I came across some of her inspiration, and found it inspired me as well.

“If a girl is thin, she is accused of being ‘anorexic’; if her weight is higher than the cruelly restrictive ideal, she’s ‘fat’ and ‘doesn’t take care of herself’ or ‘has no self control.’ If she wears cute, trendy clothes she ‘only wants attention’ and if she wears sweats and jeans, she ‘doesn’t make an effort.’ If she’s perceived as sexually attractive, andespeciallyif she shows her own sexual side, she’s likely to be called a ‘slut.’ If her sexuality and her body are concealed, she’s a ‘prude.’ As you’ve probably figured out, the cards are stacked against you. You cannot win, at least not if you define winning as dressing and behaving in a way likely to win approval (or at least decent respect) from everyone.”

This can be found at Musings of an Inappropriate Woman, where this situation is blamed upon the masculine expression of cultural contempt for girls and women. And listen up ladies: these dirty old men, I’m sure, exist. There are lines, and they are crossed. By men. Dirty old men. Who ultimately want to have sex with you. But they’d probably be thrilled with less. Yes, it’s true, the dirty old men with no self respect operating on the fuel of hedonism are definitely horrid, even when viewed objectively rather than through the contemporary cultural lenses through which all gender issues are presently perceived.

But consider this: If a guy approaches you attempting to discern whether or not you are interested, he’s a sleaze. Doesn’t approach you: gutless. If he doesn’t hook up that night, he’s a loser amongst mates. If he does: player to the other women. If he pursues a woman that does not have the approval of others, he’s bagged out by said mates. In contrast, if she’s “too hot” for him he’s punching above his weight class and it’ll never last. If he’s a virgin, the girls will giggle and the guys guffaw. But if he goes home with too many women per week, month or year, his life is shallow according to the women and he risks going against the man-code of “bros before hos”.

So, you see, it’s not just women who are open to cultural interpretations that label them with contempt. Furthermore, as the composition of troops that hold the “battle lines” between feminism and masculism continue to conform less and less to the genders of the combatants, the criticisms on modern man begin to flow from both sides of the gender divide.

The point being? These girlsthese womenwho cannot win with how they are perceived, are not alone. In addition, why be so up in arms about the concept of a “slut” when you would use the term “man-slut” willy-nilly? If a man advances on a woman and is told no, and continues, I’ll help any feminist paint the sign that says “DOM” then hold my gun on him while she hangs it round his neck. But it seems to me that blaming the men who suffer the same conditions and lack the political correctness women enjoy when blaming the other gender deserve a voice as well. Blaming the problem on the dirty old menmany of whom may not, perhaps, be as dirty or as old as they seemis a fallacy. If they had vaginas they’d be called cougars, and that’s, like, totally cool. If you want to strike at the foundations of the problem, attack constructions of gender perception, rather than blaming people who are subject to exactly the same problem as the females in question.

And just because I want anyone who reads this to knowI paused halfway through composing this post to cook my own dinner, wash my own clothes, and iron my own shirts. Seriously.

— Andrew Frank.

Elsewhere: [Musings of an Inappropriate Woman] Guest Post: Your Body is Never the Problem—A Letter to a 16-Year-Old on Clothing, Style & Creepy Old Men.

6 thoughts on “Guest Post: Double Standards.

  1. Firstly, thanks for volunteering to write this post from your point of view.
    The issues you brought up are definitely valid and poignant ones.
    Obviously, because the original post you gained inspiration from on Musings of an Inappropriate Woman (http://rachelhills.tumblr.com/post/574545014/your-body-is-never-the-problem), a feminist blog, it was geared towards a different audience, so therefore didn’t touch on the direction you’re heading for here.
    And by no means is this phenomenon exclusive to dirty old men; there are plenty of dirty young men I’ve had the (dis)pleasure of dealing with. (All you have to do is walk past a construction site in an aesthetically pleasing outfit or go out to a bar on Saturday night with the assets on display to see this in full force. I will, however, stick up for the average Joe and say that it is natural to look at something that pleases the eye, and I have been known to steal a glance at a hot guy jogging past or a chick in a hot outfit I wish to style stalk.)
    I have also had experience with both the “sleazy” and “gutless” guys you reference, and I find neither very appealing. And I will agree that no, you cannot win when it comes to making contact with the opposite sex. If you are friends with someone and wish to take that further but wait to long to do so, you run the risk of that person seeing you as no more than a friend. If not enough contact has been made, it most definitely can come across as sleazy and even desperate, but flattering nonetheless, as has happened to me quite recently.
    So, again, what you’re saying is definitely valid, but sometimes I feel like all this feminism VS. masculism crap has been taken a bit too far, and we could do with stripping it all back and going back to basics. I’m not saying corsets and “courtship” and ’50s housewives, but a little chivalry and cake baking never hurt anyone.

  2. I couldn’t agree more. I suppose the compulsion to comment from this perspective comes from the strength of it’s opposition. I’m baking on Saturday afternoon (though not a cake) and 10:1 says I’ll offer you the musical choice, hold your door open for you, and constantly make sure you’re alright!

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