Author Archives: Scarlett Harris

Movie Review: Sex & the City 2.

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In lieu of Monday’s weekly book review, I went to see Sex & the City 2 on Friday night, so I will be reviewing that instead. Well, it is based on a book…

Having read all the 2-star reviews on blogs and in magazines over the past weeks, I went into the whole thing with very low expectations. I knew the flick would be an exercise in product placement even more so than the first one, what with Sarah Jessica Parker sitting on the board of, and now designing for, Halston Heritage. Not to mention the Manolos, Jimmy Choos and Louboutins that we’ve come to know and love because of SATC. Mr. Blahnik was even quoted as saying “that shoe [the blue satin shoe that Carrie goes back for in the first film and gets Big as well] saved our company”. (Ironically, he’s also slammed the show for making him famous.)

The controversy surrounding the heavily Photoshopped promo poster and the “sex in the Middle East” subject matter also overshadowed the film’s premier and the memories of the girls gallivanting around New York City, breaking boundaries for women in television, and in life.

While SATC2 itself wasn’t groundbreaking, it was much better than I thought it was going to be. It was a visual explosion, for one thing; the sets, particularly Carrie and Big’s apartment, were stunning and so inspirational, as Paula Joye reiterates in her e-newsletter, LifeStyled. I am having major apartment-envy, and I wouldn’t be surprised if SATC style becomes the interior du jour.

The main image fans have been bombarded with in the lead up to the film’s release was that of the four stars traipsing across the desert, Samantha in a studded helmet-like headdress and Charlotte channelling Olivia Newton John in “Let’s Get Physical”. Thank God this scene is not representative of the rest of their wardrobes. While costume designer Patricia Field should be sartorially ashamed, most of the other outfits really evoked a Middle Eastern flair.

In other areas, especially the scenes back in New York, Field fell flat. Yes, two years have passed since the first film, which was absolutely decadent in it’s use of fashion, replete with 50-plus costume changes for Carrie, and we are now in a recession. However, with an alleged $10 million costuming budget, you’d think Field could have jazzed it up a bit, especially when it came to Carrie. Boring white Halston with some gold accents, and a belly-caring gingham top with jeans aren’t very Carrie-esque.

But I will applaud the movie for bringing back some fashion favourites. In the ’80s flashback scene, you will notice Carrie’s navy hat box, which reappears on the Abu Dhabi trip some 25 years later. The pink and white suitcases Carrie uses when she moves to Paris with Petrovski are also used again in UAE. And during Carrie and Big’s marriage crisis, Big arrives at Carrie’s old apartment in his town car like the days of old, where she greets him in her Autumn/Winter 2000/2001 Dior newsprint dress. That certainly elicited a response from the movie-goers!

The new characters were endearing, especially Carrie’s butler in Abu Dhabi, Guarau , whose personal life made her reflect on her own. (Spoiler alert: Carrie begins to resent Big for wanting to spend more time at home, ie. on the couch, while she still wants to embrace her inner party girl. She decides to spend some time at her old apartment [see above] to “write”, and when she returns to their communal quarters, they have a wonderful night getting “reacquainted”. When Big suggests they make a habit of having “two days off from their marriage a week”, Carrie freaks out and flees to Abu Dhabi with the girls; Guarau’s wife still lives in India and he commutes whenever he has the time/money to see her.) And how Samantha referred to them was even better! Some gems were “‘Paula’ Abdul”, Samantha’s gay butler, and her UAE expat love interest, “Lawrence of Arabia my labia”.

In other sex-scandal related news, Samantha’s Birkin is broken at the spice market, and out spills a plethora of condoms. Samantha is shamed by the shoppers in the street, and in a display of sexual liberation, she throws her birth control at the Middle Easterners as only she could, which harkens back to other Samantha moments (ie. accusing a Playboy bunny of stealing her fake Fendi; throwing her wig into the audience at a breast cancer benefit). While this may not have been an appropriate way to represent attitudes to sex in this part of the world, it is Samantha, and it is Sex & the City.

What I found even less appropriate was the amount of cleavage on show, especially Carries! My friend and I mused about whether SJP’s had a boob job; I doubt she has, but her bountiful bosom was certainly out there. And don’t even get me started on the braless nanny!

The storylines were a bit disjointed, I will admit to that; Anthony’s revelation, during their Liza Minnelli-infused nuptuals, that he will most likely cheat on Stanford, Charlotte’s nanny neuroses, and Aidan’s disappearance after he kisses Carrie were all left unresolved. While it may be plausible for you to run a mile from the man you cheated on your husband with in the Middle East, it doesn’t make for formidable storytelling on the big screen. I will never forget how the audience rejoiced in gasps, followed by laughter at our mutual reactions, when Aidan deigned to kiss Carrie when they’re both happily married.

While the consensus does seem to be that the movie sucks (it’s worth seeing for Liza’s rendition of “Single Ladies” alone!) , I was pleasantly surprised at how much I liked it. My friends and I are a hard audience to please, and we all enjoyed it immensely. Can’t wait to get it on DVD and gift to all. Christmas, perhaps?

Elsewhere: [Jezebel] Why SATC2 Never Stood a Chance.

[Jezebel] New Sex & the City 2 Poster: A Photoshop Oasis.

[Pop Crunch] Manolo Blahnik Slams Sex & the City.

How NOT to Promote Your Book

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This may be a helpful post for any other writers who read this blog, specifically those who want to publish a novel someday.

Personally, I don’t like to be told what to do and, especially in terms of getting your work out there in the form of a novel or even a blog, you can often be given a lot of advice you haven’t asked for and don’t want or need.

Sometimes being told what not to do can be more helpful, as these are concrete, finite guidelines to disregard only if you want to fail.

Author of How to Be Inappropriate, Daniel Nester, recently submitted a blog post to We Who Are About to Die, entitled “13 Don’ts I Learned While Writing, Editing, Marketing and Promoting My Book.” I won’t go into too much depth, but feel free to check it out if you’re planning on becoming a novelist anytime soon.

1. Don’t worry about the niche until the niche finds you.

I have found “finding a niche” to be an annoying piece of advice, but as this blog goes on, I feel I am falling into one, rather than starting off with a clear-cut idea in mind.

2. Have a gimmicky title, but don’t take it too seriously.

Titles “grab people’s attention, but that’s it… The people who take titles too seriously, by and large, are reviewers…”

3. Don’t rely on yourself as a proofreader.

I cannot stress this enough. Incorrect grammar and, especially, spelling is my biggest pet peeve, and I can’t stand it when I see typos in published works. Facebook, Twitter and blogs are a bit of a different story, but I’m still pretty unforgiving when it comes to even that!

4. Don’t proofread your own galleys, either.

“So your book looks perfect because it’s all in a different font and there are page numbers, right? Wrong. Also, if you’re sick of your book by then, it’s probably not a good book.”

5. Don’t ask famous strangers for blurbs.

Nester asserts that to keep the dust jacket as “organic as possible,” it’s better to ask people you know who have expressed an interest in and generally like your work. “And ask them personally.”

6. Don’t read from your book at readings.

For those of you with eye conditions, “Print out your pieces in 14-point writing with ample margins.”

7. Don’t read from another book at readings.

I thought this was a given, as people who buy tickets or show up to readings by an author of their latest book generally want to hear writing from that author’s latest book.

8. Don’t take reviews too seriously.

At the end of the day, not everyone is in agreeance as to what constitutes a good piece of writing (see Negative Amazon Reviews). Speaking from personal experience, back in my uni days I worked my butt off on a research piece on the Chris Benoit double murder-suicide, only to receive a dismal C. If anything, the bad mark made me more loyal to and proud of the original work, and to strive to get better when writing future pieces. On the other hand, my Year 12 media project was a mock magazine, which wasn’t the greatest thing I’ve ever done, but my markers saw how much effort I put into it and thus, I received an A. Maybe it would have been a similar story if my damn uni marker had seen me slaving over the laptop…

9a. Don’t give away your books. Sell them.

Pretty self-explanatory.

9b. Do give out free stuff…

… in conjunction with the buying of the books.

10. Don’t feel guilty not having your event at the local indie bookstore.

Bottom line is, independent bookstores don’t cater to everyone’s needs, or may not pull the target audience you believe would be interested in your book.

11a. Don’t forget to time your readings.

See the original blog post for a profanity-laden anecdote on death matches.

11b. And don’t read more than 15 minutes.

12. Don’t have more than one drink before your reading.

“There’s plenty of time afterward to get drunk.”

13. Don’t forget that all this is supposed to be fun and joyful.

You had your book published! “Hug people… wear a silly outfit”!

S*#! My Dad Says

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Now a sitcom starring William Shatner, S*#! My Dad Says was inspired by writer Justin Halpern’s father, when he found himself “newly dumped and apartment-less” and “spending a lot of time around the house with his father.” A Twitter page with 1.3 million followers and a book later, S*#! My Dad Says is taking not just the internet world by storm. Here are a few choice phrases from Samuel Halpern:

“YOU, a published writer?… Internet don’t count. Any asshole can throw shit up on there.”

“A parent’s only as good as their dumbest kid. If one wins a Nobel Prize but the other gets robbed by a hooker, you failed.”

“The worst thing you can be is a liar… Okay fine, yes, the worst thing you can be is a Nazi, but THEN, number two is a liar. Nazi 1, Liar 2.”

“Can we talk later? The news is on… Well, if you have tuberculosis, it’s not gonna get any worse in the next 30 minutes. Jesus.”

Great Expectations

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In other—and final, for this week at least—workaholics news, from The New Yorker’s Book Bench, “there’s no point in worrying about all those books you haven’t gotten to yet, because very often our preconceived idea of what a book will be is just as valid and enlightening as the book itself might be.”

So do bookworms rejoice in the fact that there’s no need to get through our stacks of unread books (personally, I have The Babysitters Club, American Psycho, a second reading of Mia Freedman’s memoir, Mama Mia, and Hollywood Ending by Kathy Charlesto get through—a well balanced literary meal, if a little too heavy on the fluff, don’t you think?); that the very idea of what they’re like will sustain our literary appetites?

I understand what author Kristy Logan’s original hypothesis is attesting to, that sometimes “an unread book is an intoxicating, romantic thing, and the act of reading is, in one sense, destructive” to what could have been, however I don’t agree with it.

Fiercely loyal, I will not put a book down until the very last page, no matter how much of a struggle it was to read. Dr. Zhivago, I’m looking at you. I had great expectations for that book, however I was brutally disappointed. Bret Easton Ellis’ Glamorama is another one that comes to mind. I do feel like by reading these books, my fantastical idea of them before I turned their pages has been knocked out of me.

On the other hand, there’s nothing like being utterly surprised by how good a book is, and how profoundly it affects you. Frequent readers of this blog will know that Another City, Not My Own is that for me. The Lovely Bones is one I was pleasantly surprised about, (at the risk of sounding like a bogan) only reading it because I wanted to see the film. While I think the ending was utter bullshit, the integrity of the rest of the story outweighs the disappointing ending for me.

Logan assures us that she doesn’t encourage leaving “all books unread”, questioning whether she should call them “‘pre-read’ books instead”.

The excitement of a “pre-read book”? Now that I can understand.

Related: Things Bogans Like.

Elsewhere: [The New Yorker] Not Enough Time.

[The Millions] Confined by Pages: The Joy of Unread Books.

Internet Fog

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Following on from yesterday’s “Workaholics Anonymous” post, I stumbled upon this poem, originally called “Do Not Go Gentle Into That Good Night” by Dylan Thomas and “remixed by Carolyn Kellogg” on the L.A. Times book blog, Jacket Copy.

While it is in essence “a plea… to the Poetry Foundation” not to scale “back its blog in favour of Twitter and Facebook,” essentially becoming “not quite a blog anymore,” it can certainly be applied to blog fatigue and internet overload.

Do not go gentle into that internet fog,
Writing should burn and rage complete
Rage, rage against the dying of the blog.

Unwise men think sentences do bog,
But what can be said in just a Tweet?
Do not go gentle into that internet fog.

Good men at laptops watch agog,
Their words sucked into a Facebook data sheet
Rage, rage against the dying of the blog.

A wild man who drinks the German grog
Leaves updates, a 4G phone — he’s indiscreet!
Do not go gentle into that internet fog.

Grave men crave followers and flog
And flog for more with desperate heat
Rage, rage against the dying of blog.

And you, dear poets, know writing is no slog
The ebb and flow of words is sweet
Do not go gentle into that internet fog,
Rage, rage against the dying of the blog.

Related: Workaholics Anonymous.

Elsewhere: [Jacket Copy] On Ceasing to Blog: Do Not Go Gentle.

Show Me Your Desk

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This month’s Madison features “the most stylish workplaces” of florists, interior decorators, brand managers, Red Bull’s “product marketeers”, and clothing boutique owners.

The article, “Step Into My Office” inspired me to share with you The Scarlett Woman workspace: my desk. As you can see, I have a Tiffany blue and pink colour scheme, an antique chair of my mothers’ and war-time desk, photoframes without pictures in them, which is quintessentially me, ornaments, perfume bottles, sentimental cards, and a Wicked mug that doubles as a pen holder.

Today, however, I’ve relocated to the couch…

Workaholics Anonymous

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Back in April, sex and gender blogger Rachel Hills wrote about workaholism and its relationship to the internet.

“My name’s Rachel and I’m a workaholic. And I think the internet may have something to do with it.”

Well, hello Rachel. My name is Scarlett, and I, too, feel your pain.

While I wouldn’t say that my workaholism stems from my actual paid job (customer service is not exactly an occupation you “take home with you”; at the end of the day, I couldn’t think of anything worse than continuing to put on a happy face when disgruntled patrons have been telling you where to shove it all day, you’ve got a sore back and feet and all you want to do is go home and lapse into a coma), I definitely need to be busy. If I’m not, I become unmotivated, and that unmotivation facilitates more unmotivation. Which then festers and turns into guilt. Even when I’m “not doing anything”, I’m actually doing something; catching up on reading, TV shows, movies etc (see photo). If I have a block of free time in the foreseeable future, I will plan the crap out of it, ensuring that I maximise my time by fitting as much as I possibly can into it. Kind of like the space—or lack thereof—in my wardrobe.

Hills says the unremitting stimulus of the internet “serves as a constant reminder of all the things I could be doing and thinking about… Every day I come up with more ideas than I could ever have time to pursue.”

And such is the drawback of being a blogger; we do it out of passion and a need to stimulate others and be stimulated. Unfortunately, blogging doesn’t stimulate cash flow much of the time.

My workplace is in demand at the moment, so here I am weighing up the integrity of this here blog and how much time I’ll have to work on it versus paying the bills, not mention a social life and my über-important “me time”. Hills touches on this in her post, and references the similar dilemmas of Girl with a Satchel Erica Bartle and Wordsmith Laner Sarah Ayoub. Personally, I don’t know how Ayoub balances her paid job, blog, thesis, novel writing, freelancing and wedding planning with day to day banalities! I’m having a conniption just thinking about it!

Hills suggests that a way to lighten the load, personally, is to narrow “my focus to the work I think will have the greatest impact” which “helps me manage and prioritise my load.”

Beyond that, we need to “be confident in our own choices.” For me, it’s a balancing act between being confident that what I’m doing is the right path for me (for about a year I went through a post-quarter-life crisis when my dream of having a magazine career fell through and I faced the possibility of being a check-out-chick for life!), and what others’ think (ie. family who wonder whether blogging is financially secure. FYI, it’s not).

Hills really sums it up nicely, saying that:

“I may wish I was doing more work (like I said, workaholic), but I’m also pretty secure that the work I do choose to focus on is the most important and effective for the ends I’m seeking. I’m also secure in my ability to choose which people I want to spend time with, which events look like they’ll be the most fun, what time I want to get there and what time I want to go home.”

Most of my friends will say I’m a stickler for a schedule, but I’m working on becoming more flexible with my time; it’s not heart attack-inducing material if I don’t get everything I wanted to do done. (Although, as a type A personality, I’m not so sure…)

However, like Hills says, confidence is key in having the courage of your convictions and not having to apologise to anyone for doing what you want to do.

Elsewhere: [Musings of an Inappropriate Woman] My Name’s Rachel, and I’m a Workaholic. And I Think the Internet May Have Something to Do With It.

[Wordsmith Lane] A Great Piece of Writing… And My Personal Thoughts.

Book Review: A Clockwork Orange by Anthony Burgess

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I was wary of reading Anthony Burgess’s 1962 novella A Clockwork Orange. Who isn’t aware of its unbridled sexual and physical violence, but come on, it’s a classic! But, like many classics I’ve read over the years, I’m glad to have read it and to forget it.

I find the most enjoyable novels, for me at least, are those that are effortless to read. You don’t have to try to analyse what’s going on; it just falls in your lap through the author’s sheer skill. There may be themes and a “moral to the story”, but they don’t present themselves obviously and analytically; the pieces of the puzzle you weren’t even aware were there just fit together like a jigsaw.

A Clockwork Orange was not one of these novel(las).

Now, I’m not arguing that it doesn’t serve a purpose in pop culture as a manifesto of youth culture, violence, government and free will, just that it’s bloody hard to read!

I’m not a fan of the “new speech that is the teenage slang of the not-too-distant future” Burgess uses, a fictional language called Nadsat combined with Russian, that encompasses such phrases as “horrorshow” (good), “malenky” (little), “malchicks” (boy), “viddy” (see), “plenny” (prisoner), “tolchok” (beat) and “veshch” (thing). I find they distract from the story because you have to annoyingly search your brain (or, at least, the dictionary some copies come with to help decipher the prose) to understand what the hell narrator Alex is talking about!

I also watched the movie, which I had great expectations for, however, when I told some friends and family I was going to be reviewing the movie, I was met with words of warning. The guy at the library said it was disturbing, and my mother told me to watch it in the day. And so I did.

The time of day I watched it didn’t make much of a difference to the eerie subject matter and graphic scenes and the way I felt afterwards. Much like with the book, I felt deflated and uncomfortable at the end.

The final scene, though, was my favourite—no, not just because it was finally over after 120-plus minutes! Malcolm McDowell who plays Alex really showcases his range as an actor throughout the film, but specifically in this scene. His sinister reaction at being in hospital in a full body cast after jumping from a window at the sound of Beethoven’s Ninth Symphony, a recurring theme in the tale, is priceless. Ultimately, the film ends with Alex being informed he has recovered from the experiment, and he sarcastically looks into the camera, saying “I was cured, alright”, followed by a rousing performance of the repeated “Singin’ in the Rain”

The overt and excessive use of nudity was a bit much and would be out of place in a B-, C-, or even D-list movie, let alone one of A Clockwork Orange’s canonical calibre.

I will compliment Stanley Kubric on directing with such simplicity, which I think is what really tipped the film over the edge into the realm hard-hitting filmmaking.

I would recommend seeing the film and reading the book for those of you who haven’t already, just to recognise what all the fuss was—and is—about.

Personally, I don’t.

Beauty & the Book

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Hot Guys Reading Books is the tumblr blog attesting to “scour the internet for examples of luscious literary men” because “there are plenty of attractive men in the world, but unfortunately few of them that are avid readers.”

Amen to that.

Sort of a dating catalogue that allows you to sift through the bookish boys until you find the perfect fit. What a novel idea…

Here are some smart, sexy men to segue into the weekend with.

Well I do love a man in uniform…

Flannel, stubble and smarts? Where do I sign up?

Don’t hurt that pretty little head of yours.

Lose the glasses, then we’ll talk.

Everyone likes an older man, right?

Events: Dachshund U.N.

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Tomorrow’s your last chance to check out Dachshund UN as part of the Next Wave Festival.

It’s run the past two Saturday’s between 2 and 3pm, in the forecourt of Melbourne Museum and the Royal Exhibition Building in Carlton Gardens.

An art installation that “examines the role of the United Nations as a risk management organisation,” Dachshund UN is a “joyful and chaotic experiment” that is worth seeing for its political statements, or at the very least, as a display of 47 sausage dogs that will appeal to animal lovers.

Last weekend, the Philippines decided to have a nap on its sign, while two other countries started making out. Apparently they live together…