On the (Rest of the) Net.

 

The difference between truly Mean Girls and the just plain Clueless:

“In the end, Cher’s altruism may be what saves her reign, for unlike Regina, Cher tries to live up to her end of the social contract. If Regina can’t rule, she decides that no one can. She hurts her society by pulling a wiki-leaks and releasing the contents of the Burn Book, thereby causing complete anarchy…

“In essence, the reason Regina was overthrown is the same reason any dictator is eventually overthrown: the monarch breaks the social contract with his or her people and those people have been prepped by cultural illuminati with new ideas about government rule.”

“Fashion’s Fascists.”

And, in the same vein:

“Fashion people everywhere rushed to check their hair before joining the chorus of dismay, almost as if racism and sexism were not the stock-in-trade of their industry. In fact, it is an open secret in high fashion that black and minority ethnic faces… are not welcome.”

When having “a great personality” is code for “fat” and/or “ugly”.

It’s taken me a little while to get around to reading this, but check out Girl with a Satchel’s Erica Bartle in “JC & the Cool Gang”.

“How Rachel Zoe Became Hollywood’s Most Powerful Fashion Player.”

Glee’s Lauren Zizes: badass or fat bitch?

The myth of Bart Simpson’s birthday.

Jihad Cosmo:

“We had been thinking that what Cosmo was really missing was a healthy dose of religious fanaticism and a few passionate exhortations to violence, so we can’t wait to read the article ‘that urges readers to give their lives for the Islamist cause.’”

UK sculptor Jamie McCartney’s “Great Wall of Vagina” (semi-NSFW).

How to be a mermaid.

Elective C-section or vaginal birth?

How to move to New York City, according to Gala Darling.

Images via Overthinking It, The Hollywood Reporter, YouTube.

TV: The Underlying Message in Glee’s “Original Song” Episode.

 

Firstly, just let me say, what’s up with the pathetic episode title? Perhaps the writers could have taken a leaf out of the glee club’s fictional book and called the episode “Get it Right” or “Loser Like Me”, the names of the episodes two, um, original songs.

*

Quinn has brought up the whole prom thing with Finn a couple of times in recent episodes, but last night her plan to take out the title of prom queen and king with Finn was put into full force.

I found it very odd that Quinn, the girl who last season was ostracised from the Cheerios, the “cool group” and her own family when she became pregnant, reverted to the vapid character we were introduced to in the early days.

I’m not a big fan of Quinn’s in general, but I felt that she grew tremendously as a character over the course of a year, while characters like Mr. Shue and Rachel Berry (who—coincidentally?—happen to be Glee’s two most annoying characters) remain stagnant. But, as I said in last week’s review, this is Glee, and when have we ever expected storyline consistency from it?

When Quinn befriends Rachel in an effort to keep her away from Finn, we see her true aspirations: Quinn claims she wants Rachel to realise her full potential and become a star, while she manages a real estate company and Finn takes over Burt Hummel’s mechanics business. Quinn believes there’s nothing outside of Lima for her and Finn (I wonder how Finn feels about this; knowing his girlfriend thinks he has no potential?), which I don’t buy. I thought Quinn’s pregnancy changed her for the better; part of the reason she gave up her baby was because she couldn’t give it the life it deserved. Doesn’t Quinn deserve a good life, too?

Quinn’s pregnancy also proved she’s just a loser like the rest of New Directions, which was the theme for their regionals set. Blowing Sue’s Oral Intensity (what ever happened to Vocal Adrenaline?) and the Warblers out of the water with their original songs, the first of which was written and performed by Rachel, who finally grasped the craft of songwriting (but not without an initial slip-up this episode with the song “Only Child”. On the plus side, Brittany said “My Headband” was her favourite song!), using Quinn’s taunts about starving for a “schoolgirl fantasy happy ending” with Finn as fodder.

What started out with an irritating voiceover from wannabe queen bee Quinn and some fantastic digs at Blaine’s monopoly over the Warblers’ solos, ended nicely with some “original songs” for Glee to make a mint from, instead of giving all the royalties to the initial artists; the underlying message that we’re all just losers; and Blaine’s epiphany that Kurt’s “the one”—with a gay kiss to boot!

Related: The Underlying Message in Glee’s “Blame it on the Alcohol” Episode.

How to Make a Woman Fall in Love With You, Glee Style.

Glee “Silly Love Songs” Review.

The Underlying Message in Glee’s “Furt” Episode.

The (Belated) Underlying Message in Glee’s “Never Been Kissed” Episode.

The Underlying Message in Glee’s “The Rocky Horror Glee Show” Episode.

The Underlying Message in Glee’s “Duets” Episode.

The Underlying Message in Glee’s “Grilled Cheesus” Episode.

The Underlying Message in Glee’s “Britney/Brittany” Episode.

Images via MegaVideo.

TV: Glee “Sexy” Review.

 

Never before have I been so offended by Glee. They’ve gone wrong a lot in the past season and a half: “Duets”, where everyone but the token gay Kurt got to sing with a partner; Mercedes’ eating disorder cured by Quinn giving her a granola bar; and the Justin Bieber episode in general, which I actually liked, but several of my friends voiced their concern over it. But this episode was so ignorant in addressing the theme of sex amongst the New Directions members that it made me want to hurl.

Firstly, Gwyneth Paltrow’s return as Holly Holiday was unnecessary, but obviously they’re going to milk the character for all she’s worth. She was derogatory, snarky and just plain annoying; worlds away from her first appearance on the show.

Holly insults guidance counselor Emma for still being a virgin four months after her marriage to Carl the dentist, when clearly the girl has intimacy and bodily fluids issues, amongst many others. Plus, she’s still in love with Will Shuester, which Holly takes pleasure in rubbing in her face by hooking up with him.

She heads up the celibacy club, which she makes a mockery of, even more so than Santana’s recent membership.

When Emma leads Carl, Puck, Quinn and Rachel in a rendition of “Afternoon Delight”, Holly Gleefully points out that an afternoon delight is a romp in the PM, not a dessert as Emma thinks it is.

She leads the kids in a leather-clad performance of “Do You Wanna Touch Me”, which completely undermines Mr. Shue’s previous efforts to protect the kids from singing songs by such risqué artists as Britney Spears. But, you know, this is Glee, where the storyline takes a back seat to big names and bigger songs.

But the most offensive part of the show was Holly and Will massacring one of my favourite Prince songs, “Kiss”.

The only redeeming quality of the episode was Santana’s heartfelt, yet obviously tormented, declaration of love for Brittany, who turned her down in favour of Artie.

Related: The Underlying Message in Glee’s “Blame it on the Alcohol” Episode.

How to Make a Woman Fall in Love With You, Glee Style.

Glee “Silly Love Songs” Review.

The Underlying Message in Glee’s “Furt” Episode.

The (Belated) Underlying Message in Glee’s “Never Been Kissed” Episode.

The Underlying Message in Glee’s “The Rocky Horror Glee Show” Episode.

The Underlying Message in Glee’s “Duets” Episode.

The Underlying Message in Glee’s “Grilled Cheesus” Episode.

The Underlying Message in Glee’s “Britney/Brittany” Episode.

Images via YouTube.

TV: The Underlying Message in Glee’s “Blame it on the Alcohol” Episode.

 

Blame it on the alcohol, indeed.

This week’s episode deals with McKinley High’s Alcohol Awareness Week, after Principal Figgins exclaims that there have been six alcohol-related suspensions in the past week due to the alcopop phenomenon and pop music promoting the consumption of alcohol.

So what better time for Finn and Puck to convince Rachel to have an unsupervised party at her house, right?

Body shots, Brittany getting her kit off, karaoke and spin the bottle ensue, creating a drunken love triangle between Rachel, Kurt and Blaine, where someone is bound to get hurt. And you can’t blame that on the alcohol.

In my experience, people don’t do things drunk that they don’t already want to do sober. It gives them liquid courage, if you will. Which, funnily enough, is what “Blame it on the Alcohol” is all about. Who knew that listening to Jamie Foxx would pay off?

But “the alcoholic teen-vomit fetishist” (Sue’s words, not mine!) Mr. Shuester doesn’t approve of their rendition of the song, so instead they perform “Tik and also Tok, by Key dollar sign Ha,” as Principal Figgins introduces it at the school assembly. And that’s so much better how?

But for all their seemingly sexual acceptance (Kurt, Blaine, Brittany and Santana and their “scissoring”), Kurt’s comment about bisexuality made me question how accepting the show really is:

“‘Bisexual’ is a term gay guys in high school use when they wanna hold hands with girls and feel like a normal person for a change.”

Sounds a bit like Miranda’s reasoning that bisexuality is a blanket term for guys who turn out to be gay and girls who turn out to be straight, thus explaining the man-drought, on Sex & the City.

But it wouldn’t be the first time Glee’s ostracised their characters and potential audience members who may identify with them.

Related: How to Make a Woman Fall in Love With You, Glee Style.

Glee “Silly Love Songs” Review.

The Underlying Message in Glee’s “Furt” Episode.

The (Belated) Underlying Message in Glee’s “Never Been Kissed” Episode.

The Underlying Message in Glee’s “The Rocky Horror Glee Show” Episode.

The Underlying Message in Glee’s “Duets” Episode.

The Underlying Message in Glee’s “Grilled Cheesus” Episode.

The Underlying Message in Glee’s “Britney/Brittany” Episode.

Elsewhere: [Jezebel] Glee: New Directions’ Alcohol-Fuelled Bisexual Awakening.

[Jezebel] Glee: Everyone’s Duetting It (Except Kurt).

[Jezebel] Why Glee Still Needs to Work on Diversity.

Images via YouTube.

TV: How to Make a Woman Fall in Love With You, Glee Style.

 

Last night’s Glee episode dealt with Sam trying to win Quinn back by channeling Justin Bieber. “Who’s more rock ’n’ roll than Bieber?” he asked.

Well if appearing on the cover of Rolling Stone with accompanying comments about abortion and rape makes you “rock ’n’ roll”, then so be it!

There’s been a lot of controversy surrounding said comments, no doubt, with most of the blame placed on Bieber. Sure, he’s a 17-year-old (that’s right, Beliebers, it’s his birthday today! ZOMG!) male who will never know what it is to be a woman faced with an unwanted pregnancy and the question of whether to abort it. Not to mention the fact that he leads an incredibly sheltered life removed from the reality of everyday folk like you and me. But, seriously, what was the interviewer thinking when she asked Bieber those questions? They’re relevant how?

I feel a bit sorry for him, to be honest. He’s being ripped to shreds for these comments, when really, all he had to say was “no comment”. I’m sure as a teenage boy whose entire existence in the public eye depends on him being a “people pleaser”, he didn’t feel like he could say “no comment”. Well, I’m here to tell you, Justin: Just say “no comment”.

This episode was filmed before the Rolling Stone article went viral but, like those GQ photos, Glee’s never let a little controversy get in their way. And we already know they’re pro-life, with the absence of a proper talk with Quinn about her options when she finds out she’s pregnant.

But back to the episode at hand.

Sam’s other option to win back Quinn is to take her hunting. But according to guest blogger Andrew, this isn’t a feasible one:

“My dad always said there’re two ways to get a woman to love you: take her hunting, and rock and roll.”

Thank God it’s not theorized that the hunt must be successful. The chance of catching a deer with a heavily perfumed woman complaining audibly about the temperature, the undergrowth, the smell, the required lack of fashion sense and the cold canned food lunch trailing noisily behind you is practically zero. And any woman who doesn’t do these things is already taken.

But let’s imagine that said girl agrees to come hunting with me, and we do catch the proverbial Bambi unawares. And that she keeps quiet long enough for me to shoot it. Here’s what follows:

I’m holding down the beautiful, majestic animal as it goes through its death spasms, and blood begins to run over my hands and onto my clothes. The first romantic act in which the female must engage is an awkward dance around the carcass, designed to ward off flies. Whilst this dance continues, the deer’s stomach cavity is sliced open and, reaching up into its ribcage, I remove all the internal organs, getting its visceral matter all over my arms, coated in the smell of its innards. At this point I might turn around and ask for a celebratory hug, and to pose for a Facebook photo together!

Then, the second task for the female is required. She must peel back the folds of skin whilst I delicately remove it and the attached sinew from the cuts of flesh, and this must be interspersed over the next two hours with the aforementioned dance as I remove, and then debone, cuts of meat.

How exactly is this supposed to ignite the passions of a woman? Could it be walking, wading and climbing kilometres back to camp with mosquitoes everywhere, with parts of Bambi on her back, stinking up the place?

Nah, it must have been the tent sex the night before.

—Andrew Frank.

Related: Disturbing Behaviour: Terry Richardson Does Glee.

The Underlying Message in Glee‘s “Furt” Episode.

The (Belated) Underlying Message in Glee’s “Never Been Kissed” Episode.

The Underlying Message in Glee’s “The Rocky Horror Glee Show” Episode.

The Underlying Message in Glee’s “Duets” Episode.

The Underlying Message in Glee’s “Grilled Cheesus” Episode.

The Underlying Message in Glee’s “Britney/Brittany” Episode.

Elsewhere: [MamaMia] Justin Bieber, Sex & Abortion. Connected How? Good Question.

[Jezebel] 6 Reasons Justin Bieber is Qualified to Talk About Abortion.

Images via Megavideo.

TV: Lumberjack Chic on Glee.

Geek chic, celebrity incognito and lumberjack chic are three of my favourite styles of dress. What are they, you ask? Allow me to explain.

Geek chic, noun. Combining a preppy style of dress with grunge. Think Marc Jacobs and Tavi Gevinson. NOT Rachel Berry. (Last night’s episode of Glee assured us that Rachel will never be seen as a fashion icon.)

Celebrity incognito, noun. Used to describe someone who is dressed like a celebrity on the run from the paparazzi. Any combination of oversized sunglasses, large takeaway coffee, layering à la Mary-Kate Olsen, and objects to obscure the face. Essentially, this is a term that cannot be described.

Lumberjack chic, noun. The advancement of traditional lumberjack garb, such as plaid and fur trimming, from the timber yard to the runway. DSquared² are a major proponent of this look.

Lumberjack chic, in particular, graced our screens on Glee last night as Rachel, Finn et al. belted out the “anthem” “Sing” by My Chemical Romance. Even Sue Sylvester got in on the action with a tartan version of her trademark tracksuit. Although I’m not so sure about Finn channelling his stepdad Burt Hummell with that red beanie…

Oh well; you can’t hold the plaid down.

[Girl with a Satchel] Cute & Chic This Week: Check, Mate!

Image via YouTube.

TV: Gleek Out!

Last night’s episode of Glee, “Comeback”, prompted a few synapses to fire and some ideas to form in my brain.

So today, Tuesday March 1st, 2011, will heretofore be known as “Gleek Out! Day”. Stay tuned for more Glee goodness throughout the day.

Image via Squidoo.

TV: Glee “Silly Love Songs” Review.

 

Last night’s episode of Glee had some semblance of a storyline, unlike most of its companion episodes this year.

Santana was ousted by the glee club as a bitch, Puck serenaded Lauren, who refused to be wooed by his misogynistic rendition of  “Fat Bottomed Girls”, and Finn attempted to court Quinn at his Valentine’s Day kissing booth.

By far the best song of the night was Artie and Mike’s collaboration on Michael Jackson’s “P.Y.T.”, which I have taken the liberty of embedding below.

Another key story arc was Kurt’s continued infatuation with Blaine, who serenades another man with Robin Thicke’s “When I Get You Alone” (again, below), another standout. Not to worry; although Blaine is rebuffed by his love interest, and Kurt confesses his feelings for his, the two are back being besties before the night’s through.

Don’t you just love how life on Glee comes packaged up nicely with a pretty ribbon on top after forty minutes…?

Related: The Underlying Message in Glee‘s “Furt” Episode.

The (Belated) Underlying Message in Glee’s “Never Been Kissed” Episode.

The Underlying Message in Glee’s “The Rocky Horror Glee Show” Episode.

The Underlying Message in Glee’s “Duets” Episode.

The Underlying Message in Glee’s “Grilled Cheesus” Episode.

The Underlying Message in Glee’s “Britney/Brittany” Episode.

Images via Shulman Says, Soul88, TV Hamster.

On the (Rest of the) Net.

Flavorwire celebrates the Chinese New Year with “40 Culturally Relevant Rabbits”.

Ryan Gosling as feminist icon?

Jennifer Aniston controversially embraces her inner Lolita for Allure.

Speaking of… The allure of Mormon housewife blogs.

Chad Woody on “The Oprahverse”:

“This gets at my perennial problem with Oprah. She’s all about the self-determined destiny. This comes from hanging out constantly with celebrities, the cultural lottery winners of the world, and asking them about their origins and beliefs. Sure, some of them say they were lucky in some way, but what Oprah really digs for is that little gold nugget of ego in everyone that says, “I did it my way, and I always knew I would!” But success woven from big dreams is an easy pattern to discern if you’re only interviewing winners…”

While I don’t agree with Erica Bartle’s comments—I believe that Stefani Joanne Angelina Germanotta was “born this way” as Lady Gaga, and everything she does is an extension of herself—the girl with the satchel raises some interesting points about not needing “an alter ego when you’re happy with who you really are”.

Also at GWAS, Bartle laments the demise of The Saturday Age’s A2 supplement in favour of “the more generic Fairfax Life & Style moniker). I feel your pain :(.

“Why I (Really, Seriously, Truly) Hate Carrie Bradshaw”:

“…If I ever saw a woman dressed like that either here in the city, or anywhere else in the world, I’d throw a Twinkie at them, tell them to take a long look in the mirror and eat a damn carb for a change. Yes, I keep Twinkies on me for such occasions… Carrie once threw a Big Mac at Big, so throwing things have been all the rage ever since, right?”

Not only do strong women get branded “the bitch” for knowing what they want and standing up for themselves (if I can be so cavalier, I consider myself a strong woman who is often called “bitch”), but apparently it’s hardest for us to find equally as strong, if not stronger, men in the dating market. Woe is us.

Some more thoughts from Sarah Wilson:

“… Men aren’t happy because they’re not being real men. They’re denied the opportunity to pursue, to go after the woman they reckon is perfect for them. That’s because they’re being pursued by women. Why? Cos everything is out of whack (women are used to chasing things and get impatient when men don’t approach, but also because the men aren’t pursuing… cos they don’t have to… and it goes around and around). And so men feel emasculated by this. Because men are meant to be the hunters.  The peacocks who do dances and display their prowess to women, to earn female trust and affection. Since the cost of partnering is higher for women, they must be fussier and sit back and weigh up their options. This is a biological imperative.”

In a similar vein, “The Sexual Cost of Female Success”:

“…What’s important is getting women to question every decision they make on the grounds of what insecure men might potentially think about it, men you’d never want to date anyway because their insecurities would make the relationship hell. And, more importantly, because you’re not physically attracted to them—something no amount of data or bullshit studies on the internet will ever change. Yes, women are ruining everything by not planning their lives expressly according to men’s biological clocks and wishes.”

Gender Agenda and Melinda Tankard-Reist get their wordplay on in the fight against Kanye West’s Monster video.

Can everyone get over Michelle Obama’s clothing choices already?:

“Michelle Obama is a Princeton and Harvard-educated lawyer and former executive at the University of Chicago Hospitals system who happens to dress pretty well and be married to the president of the United States of America. But what are the stories about her that have dominated the media? They’re not about her skills, her experience, her mind, or even about her almost disgustingly uncontroversial pet issue, fighting childhood obesity. The Michelle Obama News is about whether her eyebrows are ‘angry.’ Whether her clothes mark her as a ‘new Marie Antoinette’… [or a] ‘new Jackie Kennedy.'”

The straight guy’s guide to Glee.

In response to Natasha Vargas-Cooper’s “Hardcore”, Tana Ganeva debunks “The Anti-Male, Anti-Sex Falsehoods That Rule Discussions About Porn and Sexuality”.

Shut up, Mark Latham!

I disagree with most of Miranda Devine’s views in “Buying a Baby—Not a Pair of Shoes”, but one thing’s for sure: Nicole Kidman’s surrogacy is one contentious issue.

The secret diary of a call girl.

The private lives of Pippa Lee public people.

The dating game according to the ladies of the Jersey Shore.

“The Baby-Sitters Club: Where Are They Now?”

Image via Sassi Sam.

Lea Michele Just Can’t Win.

 

From “Righteous Moms Just Can’t Let Lea Michele Be Sexy” by Margaret Hartmann on Jezebel:

“Yes, some children will probably see the cover while walking past a newsstand, but it’s doubtful that this issue alone will lead to the crushing realization that sex sells. The GQ cover was tasteless and the Cosmo cover may appear a bit desperate, but it isn’t as if Lea’s doing Playboy. Ten years ago, parents were losing it because Britney Spears delivered sexed-up performances, seemingly with no regard for the little girls who idolized her. Britney summed it up well (and ridiculously) with her song ‘Not A Girl, Not Yet A Woman.’ In American pop culture, this dichotomy is nothing new, Lea Michele is just our current scapegoat.”

Related: Disturbing Behaviour: Terry Richardson Does Glee.

Elsewhere: [Jezebel] Righteous Moms Just Can’t Let Lea Michele Be Sexy.

Images via Reality by Rach, Twenty2.OnSugar.