Category Archives: On the Net

Nine Lives.

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Tavi Gevinson wished she was a cat, so she could have nine lives to fulfill all her dreams:

“I would have a life to fulfill my fashion dreams, one to fulfill my acting dreams, one for guitar, one for writing, one for movie directing, one for photography, one for fine arts, one for a normal life, and one for teaching…

“Also I could poop in a box.”

Lately I’ve felt like I’m barely existing (and this could be attributed to Mercury being in retrograde), let alone fulfilling the copious amount of dreams I have.

I remember at the end of my first year of uni I wrote a list of all my dream jobs, in case writing didn’t work out for me. I’d been exposed to so many new things during that first year that I was somewhat questioning my decision to be a writer. So, instead of facing my future, I pondered the unreality…

Wedding Planner.

Being a wedding planner would combine my love of aesthetics, organisation, bossing people around, flowers, location-scouting and weddings in general. Matthew McConaughey is just a bonus.

Wrestler.

I’ve loved professional wrestling for ten years now. I never desired to be a pumped-up, over-inflated ring decoration until World Wrestling Entertainment starting doing their annual Tribute to the Troops Christmas show in war-torn Afghanistan and Iraq, and I saw the dedication and emotion that goes into the mission, by both the troops and the WWE Superstars.

I still have no desire to be a pumped-up, over-inflated ring decoration; I would much rather be an actual professionally-trained, fight to the death pinfall/submission, respected female wrestler. Except for the fact that I have asthma, am not flexible, and get hurt too easily!

Historian.

After reading over-hyped works of fiction like The Da Vinci Code and The Historian, I thought being an historian wouldn’t be so bad. You get to fight vampires and unearth “the greatest cover-up in human history”. Or I could just be a character in a Stephenie Meyer work!

Big Cat Trainer.

Tavi wanted to be a cat, I wanted to train them. Not your everyday domestic housecats either.

Mia Freedman.

Okay, so I can’t actually be Mia Freedman, but I can continue in my unadulterated admiration for her. In all seriousness, her current career as blogger, author and media commentator is highly coveted, in my opinion.

Australian Idol Contestant. (I guess that would be X Factor contestant now…)

So this isn’t really a “job” per se, and I don’t really have the skills for it, ie. a voice. However, I do have a mental catalogue of the songs I would sing if I did have said skills. “Need You Tonight” by INXS, anyone…?

Magazine Editor.

When I was still interested in working in magazines in Sydney, I thought being the editor of Cosmo was definitely in my stars. Fast-forward a few years: not so much. A lot of the magazines I envisioned myself working for have gone so far downhill that I think the blogosphere and freelancing are where it’s at.

Small Business Owner.

As recently as last year I wanted to have my own small business within the next couple of years. That’s not my focus anymore, but I do see myself owning some kind of business in the future. All that’s left now is to decide what line of business that might be. It’s a Romy & Michele conundrum.

Stylist.

I would die to be a Rachel Zoe wannabe, but from what little exposure to the fashion world I have had, I’ve drawn the conclusion that it is far too pretentious for me. As Whitney Port said, “They’re just clothes.”

Okay, so some of those are more within reach than others, and some aren’t actually all that impossible. It would be awesome to be something like a big cat trainer or a wedding planner, but in all honesty, I think of myself as a go-getter-type person, and if I really wanted to be an editor or an historian, I would be fighting tooth and nail (hey, maybe I wouldn’t make such a bad wrestler after all!) to be, instead of working away on this here blog.

Elsewhere: [The Style Rookie] Dreams.

[Gala Darling] How To Survive Mercury in Retrograde.

Images via YouTube, All Movie Photo, Amazelabs, The Business Bakery, Purseblog.

On the (Rest of the) Net.

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The beauty of Milhouse.

Mercury’s in retrograde. No wonder everything in my life has been up shit creek lately: friends, family, home life and, especially, work life. Here’s how to survive it.

Lots of good stuff on Musings of an Inappropriate Woman this week, where Rachel Hills writes on friendship and sameness in the life of an expat, “lessons in feminist activism” and her thoughts on teens and sexuality on TV:

“… The New York Observer’s Nate Freeman…, bafflingly, draws from this exchange that the characters on Skins get laid more often than the actors who play them because they don’t own web-enabled mobile phones. I’d be more inclined to suggest that they get laid more often because they’re fictional, and from a narrative drama perspective, having sex is more interesting than not having it. As one of my interview subjects put it: ‘Television is not an accurate portrayal of real life, but that’s kind of what we all like it for.’”

The joys of op-shopping for party favours.

“Giving The Big Bang Theory a Fair Chance.”

Spoiler Alert: “Big Love Was About Feminism All Along.”

Control underwear is “Just a Girdle By Another Name”. Thoughts?

Gwyneth Paltrow puts her foot in it… again!

One of my favourite past Australian Idol contestants, Em Rusciano, who now presents for The 7pm Project, writes—hilariously—on the self-help book for MamaMia.

Also at MamaMia, Rick Morton on the app to “cure” homosexuality:

“Mobility guilt, yours for free.

“The app is mostly a direct port of information available on the website but, importantly, it’s available while you’re out and about in case you are overcome with sexual urges and need to keep your hands busy fiddling with an iPhone instead of, you know, the same sex.”

Mel Evans doesn’t like Belle de Work Expérience‘s take on Cosmo.

Image via Simpson Crazy.

“Oh My God, That Britney’s Shameless”—Britney Spears VS. Beyonce.

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From an excerpt of “Pride from Behind” by Shabiki Crane in “Feminism for Real: Deconstructing the Academic Industrial Complex of Feminism” by Latoya Peterson on Racialicious:

“… When white women like Britney Spears presented themselves in a sexual manner it was because they were asserting their sexuality; however when black women, like Beyonce did, they were simply being puppets and degrading themselves…

“Feminism dictates that women deserve to be equal to men; but the truth is it’s telling us that some women are more deserving than others.”

I disagree.

With Britney’s breakdown in 2007/8, the star’s mental health issues have come to light, leading most to make the assumption that Spears is more of a puppet, writhing—naked—to the beat of her management’s drum, while Beyonce—to me—is more of a woman in charge.

She’s one of the richest females in the business (granted, so is Spears), but she backs it up with talent, the courage of her convictions, and a keen eye for what the public want to see.

I agree with Crane’s latter assertion, that feminism works for some women, not all, but she’s watching a different media Circus if she thinks Beyonce comes across as the “puppet” in this equation.

What do you think?

Related: Feminist-Bot.

Britney Spears: Not That Innocent.

Like a Virgin, Take 2.

Did Rosie the Riveter Wear Hotpants?

Elsewhere: [Racialicious] Feminism for Real: Deconstructing the Academic Industrial Complex of Feminism.

[MamaMia] Is This Officially a Comeback?

Images via Fanpop, Supercrunked.

On the (Rest of the) Net.

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The difference between truly Mean Girls and the just plain Clueless:

“In the end, Cher’s altruism may be what saves her reign, for unlike Regina, Cher tries to live up to her end of the social contract. If Regina can’t rule, she decides that no one can. She hurts her society by pulling a wiki-leaks and releasing the contents of the Burn Book, thereby causing complete anarchy…

“In essence, the reason Regina was overthrown is the same reason any dictator is eventually overthrown: the monarch breaks the social contract with his or her people and those people have been prepped by cultural illuminati with new ideas about government rule.”

“Fashion’s Fascists.”

And, in the same vein:

“Fashion people everywhere rushed to check their hair before joining the chorus of dismay, almost as if racism and sexism were not the stock-in-trade of their industry. In fact, it is an open secret in high fashion that black and minority ethnic faces… are not welcome.”

When having “a great personality” is code for “fat” and/or “ugly”.

It’s taken me a little while to get around to reading this, but check out Girl with a Satchel’s Erica Bartle in “JC & the Cool Gang”.

“How Rachel Zoe Became Hollywood’s Most Powerful Fashion Player.”

Glee’s Lauren Zizes: badass or fat bitch?

The myth of Bart Simpson’s birthday.

Jihad Cosmo:

“We had been thinking that what Cosmo was really missing was a healthy dose of religious fanaticism and a few passionate exhortations to violence, so we can’t wait to read the article ‘that urges readers to give their lives for the Islamist cause.’”

UK sculptor Jamie McCartney’s “Great Wall of Vagina” (semi-NSFW).

How to be a mermaid.

Elective C-section or vaginal birth?

How to move to New York City, according to Gala Darling.

Images via Overthinking It, The Hollywood Reporter, YouTube.

Musings of a Blogger.

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From “On Writing, Authenticity & Baring All” by Rachel Hills on Musings of an Inappropriate Woman:

“This blog is a fairly accurate reflection of what it would be like to sit across the table from me at tea or dinner—except the blog is slightly more introverted, less excitable, and a tiny bit less inclined to put my foot in it. It does reflect the kinds of things we’d probably talk about, though. Like a dinner conversation, though, it’s pretty poorly formed—like throwing paint at a canvas to see what works.”

Elsewhere: [Musings of an Inappropriate Woman] On Writing, Authenticity & Baring All.

Image via YouTube.

It Don’t Matter if You’re Black or White… Or Green.

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From “The Theme of Good VS. Evil” in Wicked: The Life & Times of the Wicked Witch of the West on Shmoop:

“Good vs. evil really is the ultimate (and original) theme of Wicked. But the twist is that the theme doesn’t focus on a showdown between a hero and a super-villain. Rather, the focus is on good and evil residing within the same person (which Nietzsche would probably approve of). No one is simply good or evil here. Not surprisingly, evil often trumps good in the book. Or at least a philosophical concern with evil gets the spotlight more often than any musings on goodness. The book is about a Witch after all.

“Ultimately, neither good nor evil is clearly defined or clearly separated here, which may be precisely the point. If the people and places of Wicked are not black and white, why should huge concepts like good and evil be anything other than hard to grasp and gray [Scarlett Woman note: or rather, green]? Goodness is seen as something elusive or hard to find, while evil is depicted as much more complex than a cackling green witch in a pointy black hat. In the end, evil may be nothing more than the absence of something else: awareness, constraint, goodness. Goodness requires intent and consciousness, but evil can be done subconsciously and even unwillingly; it’s a sort of default setting in people, witches or not.”

Related: Idle Hands.

Strong Female Characters in the Land of Oz.

The Wizard of Oz VS. Wicked.

It’s All About Popar… Lar, Lar, Lar, Lar!

Women in Fiction: Are Our Favourite Fictional Females Actually Strong, or Stereotypes?

Women in Fiction: My Favourite Fictional Females.

“With a Gun Between Her Legs” Take 2.

“With a Gun Between Her Legs”: Why “Strong” (AKA “Sexy” Whilst Being “Strong”) Female Characters Are Bad For Women.

Elsewhere: [Shmoop] The Theme of Good VS. Evil in Wicked: The Life & Times of the Wicked Witch of the West.

Image via Picky Nikki.

“Chains & Whips Excite Me…”—The Underlying Message in Music Videos.

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From L’s comment on “Deconstructing 2011’s Girl Anthems” by Emma Plant on Girl with a Satchel:

“…It’s scary to think that very few people are thinking critically about what song lyrics really say, or how the video can change a meaning of a song. Look at Rihanna tied to the bed in that Eminem video with him singing out lighting the house on fire to watch her burn… this from a young woman who was previously in an abusive relationship.
What is the music we listen to really saying about us and how is it shaping our opinions and values?”

Related: Rihanna’s “S&M”: Is It Really So Much Worse Than Her Other Stuff?

Elsewhere: [Girl with a Satchel] Deconstructing 2011’s Girl Anthems.

Images via YouTube.

Beauty & the Beast Remains Relevant.

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From “Beastly’s False Fairytale” by Alex Leo on Jezebel:

“Unlike Ariel giving up her voice for love or Sleeping Beauty being woken by Prince Charming, this story has immediate and practical implications for our culture—especially for young girls trying to figure out who they are and what they ‘have to do’ to be accepted. The problem is that while the story sets the goal that the Beast stop judging people based on their looks and learn to see the beauty within, the male lead always ends up with a hot woman. It’s right there in the title! She’s a beauty and he’s a monster and I am confused. If the point is that he truly change and accept that looks are merely skin-deep, then shouldn’t he end up with a less-than-stunning partner?”

Elsewhere: [Jezebel] Beastly’s False Fairytale.

The Allure of the Co-Star.

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From “Rashida Jones on the Lure of the Co-Star” by Irin Carmon on Jezebel:

“You kind of fall in love with yourself in the eyes of this other person… You’re in a cold place and you want to connect with somebody, you’re not near your husband or wife, and you’ll want to connect with somebody else.

“It’s hard for actors to distinguish between those feelings, and it’s hard to tell your body to communicate these things physiologically and yet it’s just acting and nothing else. With emotional stuff like that, it’s like a weird, short, unaccounted-for affair.”

Just ask Elizabeth Taylor!

Elsewhere: [Jezebel] Rashida Jones on the Lure of the Co-Star.

Image via Station Hollywood.

Mirror Mirror.

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From “Black Swan & Bathrooms” by Kartina Richardson on Mirror Motion Picture Commentary:

“For those of us not living or working in solitude, the bathroom offers the sole moments in our day when we may escape the gaze of others.

“Think of all the odd things you’ve done in a bathroom in your lifetime. What child hasn’t secretly explored the substance of their waste. What pre-teen hasn’t masturbated nervously. What person hasn’t escaped to the bathroom during a business meeting and made a weird face in the mirror to say to the world: ‘You don’t know I’m doing this right now. Oh there’s so much you don’t know.’

“No other moment can so clearly reveal that our public life is all, in fact, an act. An act with a purpose, but an act all the same.”

While I am still yet to see Black Swan (pathetic, I know, but I’ve never been an Oscar-winning movie kind of gal. More of a Razzie-winning one!), Richardson’s commentary reminded me of Hugo Schwyzer’s take on webcams in the bathrooms and bedrooms of young, impressionable girls. See here for my musings on the subject.

Related: Picture Perfect.

Elsewhere: [Mirror Motion Picture Commentary] Black Swan & Bathrooms.

[Hugo Schwyzer] No Refuge: How Webcams & Cell Phones Ratchet Up the Pressure To Be Perfect.

Images via Mirror Motion Picture Commentary.