TV: Gossip Girl Season 5 Final—What Goes Around Comes Around…

 

When Gossip Girl debuted five years ago, Dan was a Lonely Boy outsider, Serena and Blair were at war and Jenny Humphrey was around.

The latter might not be true but, for everyone else, the more things change the more they stay the same on the Upper East Side.

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I enjoyed comparing the very first episode of Gossip Girl to its most recent, the season five finale. While it was hard to get used to seeing the fresh faced and über-thin Blair and Serena at first, by the end of the exercise I’m not sure which incarnation of the show I like better! The first season had so much promise, but it also had Chuck as a date rapist. The current season has the abominations that are Lola and Ivy, but is veering back towards that so-bad-it’s-good soap opera quality of yore.

Anyway, back to the task at hand: fairly early on the final, Serena and Blair call it quits on their roommate arrangement and friendship, with Blair finding Serena’s leakage of her diary to Gossip Girl unforgivable. I dare say Blair’s right: Serena has always been a selfish bitch, and Blair was as accurately harsh on her for spilling her secrets as she was for sleeping with her boyfriend six years ago.

Speaking of the wedding at which Serena slept with Nate, six years on and the marriage didn’t seem to last, with the couple hosting a divorce party at the same venue. Cue Serena’s inappropriate sex life and substitute step-brother and Blair’s current squeeze Dan for Nate and you’ve got Serena screwing over (pun intended) her bestie again.

After Dan realises Blair’s rebuffed him for yet another shot at love with Chuck, and Serena’s the shallow vixen she’s so often proved herself to be, he seeks revenge on the Upper East Side, enlisting Georgina to “help me write the book I should have written from the beginning,” you know, because his status as a bestselling author is nothing without Georgina’s “photographic memory and passion for social upheaval”.

Now that Dan’s been burned by both Blair and Serena, Chuck opts out of Blair’s tour de indecision, telling her he’s done with her because all she does is ruin his business prospects and “bet against him”. In a casino, in case you didn’t grasp the metaphor of gambling on love before, Blair accosts Chuck and puts her chips “all in” in her quest to win back his love.

Meanwhile, it seems Bart Bass’ return has left Rufus and Lily’s marriage up in the air, as she’s technically married to both of them! As in the first episode, Lily’s snooty and antagonistic treatment of Rufus leads her to choose to stay with Bart.

This flashback to perhaps better times (Gossip Girl has been renewed for a final season later this year; rumour is that the season will only have ten episodes) is not accidental: the writers make reference to it often in the characters’ dialogue. For example, Blair knifes Serena with the revelation that, “The best time I ever had was when you were gone six years ago!” Just watching the first episode again you can tell that Leighton Meester was playing wounded soul well, as Blair looks miserable in it. Talk about growth as a character. Blair goes on to tell Serena that she didn’t “steal” Dan, and that she “would know that if you’d grown up at all since high school”.

When Chuck has his pride and joy, the Hotel Empire, ripped from his hands by his zombie father, he’s told it’s because he’s “never grown up”. That may be true, but it could also be said of the writers of Gossip Girl. Do-over?

Images via Serena Van Der Woodsen Sucks, Sockshare, Gossip Girl Screencaps.

TV: Glee Season 2 Final in Pictures.

 

In last night’s Glee final, New Directions make it to New York! (New York! I love New York!)

They eat designer sandwiches on the steps of some landmark that escapes me at the present moment, reminiscent of Blair, Jenny et al. having lunch on the steps in Gossip Girl.

From here, they sing a mash-up of “I Love New York” and “New York, New York” in Central Park while Santana gets her flirt on with a cop.

Finn is inspired by the group’s songwriting efforts (that they’ve come to the Big Apple with nary a song to sing at Nationals only days before the competition speaks volumes about the laissez-faire attitude of both the New Directions and their leader, Mr. Shuester), and asks Rachel out on a date now that he and Quinn are toast. He takes her to Sardi’s, where they run into Patti LuPone, who Rachel accosts, telling Patty she’s one of her idols. Patty tells Rachel to never give up (or something), and that Finn is cute. Sage advice there!

Meanwhile, the other man in Rachel’s life (no, not Jesse St. James Douche), Kurt, wakes Rachel up to go have Breakfast at Tiffany’s, followed by a Wicked duet at the musical’s home theatre, the Gershwin, of “For Good”, harkening back to their season one sing-off of “Defying Gravity”. It was a teary rendition for me!

Mr. Shue also has his Broadway moment, singing a song from April Rhodes’ musical, CrossRhodes, which can conveniently be found on Matthew Morrison’s debut album! He later chooses to shun his New York dreams in favour of staying on at McKinley.

Cut to Nationals, where the New Directions perform their two hastily composed original songs, “Pretending” and “Light Up the World”. During the former, Rachel and Finn share an impromptu kiss in the heat of the moment, which the whole club berates and blames them for losing the competition.

Oh, Sunshine also makes an appearance. No doubt to segue into a cameo or recurring role in season three.

Back in Lima, Kurt and Blaine are having coffee when they encounter Mercedes and Sam, who claim they “ran into each other in the parking lot”. When they think Kurt and Blaine are out of ear- and eyeshot, they hold hands whilst waiting to be served. New couple alert!

In the hallway of McKinley High, Will and Emma marvel at the banner erected to congratulate them on their twelfth placing in the competition, and Mr. Shue presents the class with a trophy for their (dismal) efforts. Until next year’s Nationals…

Related: Glee Gets Down on Friday at the Prom.

The Underlying Message in Glee’s “Born This Way” Episode.

The Underlying Message in Glee’s “Original Song” Episode.

Gwyneth Paltrow Addresses Tabloid Culture & Her Haters.

Glee “Sexy” Review.

The Underlying Message in Glee’s “Blame it on the Alcohol” Episode.

How to Make a Woman Fall in Love With You, Glee Style.

Glee “Silly Love Songs” Review.

The Underlying Message in Glee’s “Furt” Episode.

The (Belated) Underlying Message in Glee’s “Never Been Kissed” Episode.

The Underlying Message in Glee’s “The Rocky Horror Glee Show” Episode.

The Underlying Message in Glee’s “Duets” Episode.

The Underlying Message in Glee’s “Grilled Cheesus” Episode.

The Underlying Message in Glee’s “Britney/Brittany” Episode.

Elsewhere: [Jezebel] Glee: Can’t Make it There, Can’t Make it Anywhere.

Images via MegaVideo.

TV: Top 10 TV Moments of the Year.

 

1. OMGSW: Derek Gets Shot on Grey’s Anatomy.

I spent the season six final of Grey’s bawling my eyes out as Reed Adamson and Charles Percy died, Derek, Alex and Owen get shot, and Meredith loses her baby. One of the best season finals I’ve ever seen.

2. Another Day, Another Gun Shot Wound: Chuck Gets Shot on Gossip Girl.

While season three’s finale wasn’t the best I’ve ever seen, it certainly set the ball rolling for an epic season four thus far (see below).

Chuck issued Blair an ultimatum; Dan was revealed to be the father of Georgina’s baby; Chuck raped Jenny; Jenny went to boarding school; Blair took Chuck up on his ultimatum; Blair found out Chuck slept with Jenny; Serena and Blair went to Paris; Chuck got shot in Prague.

3. Katy Perry’s Chest is Too Ample for Sesame Street.

Sure, Katy’s dress was a little revealing to be prancing around the street named Sesame, but wasn’t it the responsibility of the show’s costume designers to put her in something a little more child-friendly?

4. Airy Fairy: Sookie is a Fairy on True Blood.

What the?! Aside from lots of Eric action and the introduction of hot werewolf Alcide, season three was a confusing exercise in vampirism, culminating in the revelation that Sookie is a fairy, the idea being that her blood is so irresistible to Bill, Eric et al. because it helps them walk amongst the living. (More on Sookie’s allure to come.)

5. The ANTM Debacle.

Well… at least it got Aussie Top Model into the international (entertainment) news. It probably boosted sales for Harper’s Bazaar, with the two finalists on the cover.

6. It’s “Britney/Brittany”, Bitch! Britney Spears on Glee.

In what was probably one of the most anticipated TV moments of 2010, Britney Spears appeared for (literally) a moment on Glee.

7. What Once Was LOST, Now is Found: LOST Finale.

The last ever episode of LOST seemed to ask more questions that it answered, but ultimately was a bit of a letdown.

8. Romeo Serena & Juliet: Serena’s Stalker Saga on Gossip Girl.

GG has always been a guilty pleasure of mine since it debuted in 2007, but it hasn’t always had the greatest of storylines. This season, however, has been one of my favourites, with the mystery surrounding Juliet’s entry into Serena’s life getting stronger each episode. The story arc was resolved in the U.S.’s most recent episodes, but instead of spoiling it for Aussie viewers (which The Scarlett Woman has been known to do *blush*), I’ll wait til it airs here to catch you up on the saga.

9. Sexual Double Standards on Jersey Shore.

Speaking of guilty pleasures, Jersey Shore is the epitome of “guilty” if ever there was one!

Violence, racism, sexism and sun damage run rampant in the show, which seems to have gotten even worse in its second season.

Femme fatale Angelina Pivarnick is vilified for sleeping with two guys in one week, when the men of the house have a rotisserie of women for every night of the week. The resentment of Angelina for being a “single girl” and “enjoying herself”, which she constantly made reference to, comes to a head with a cat fight, a “dirty pad” found on the bathroom floor, and Angelina exiting the house for the second time in as many seasons.

10. The Hills’ Curtains Draw to a Close… But Not Before Lifting Them on Reality TV.

Living vicariously through The Hills’ girls hedonistic Hollywood lifestyles is something I’m really going to miss in 2011.

I suppose there’s always Heidi Montag’s tabloid transgressions and Lauren’s new reality show to indulge in…

Related: Gun Shot Wound to the Head: Grey’s Anatomy Season Final.

The Last Tango… For the Season: Gossip Girl Season 3 Finale.

The Underlying Messages of Glee’s “Britney/Brittany” Episode.

It’s All About Britney, Bitch!

Glee Against the Music.

What Once Was LOST, Now is Found?: Lost Finale.

Surfing the Third Wave: Second Wave VS. Third Wave Feminism on Gossip Girl.

The Hills Finale: All Good Things Must Come to an End.

Poor Little Rich Girl: Who Cover Girl Heidi Montag.

Elsewhere: [Jezebel] Jersey Shore: If Men Can Wax Their Eyebrows, Why Can’t Women Sleep Around?

TV: The Last Tango… For the Season—Gossip Girl Season Three Finale.

It’s all about the season finales. Last night, Gossip Girl; tonight, LOST.

After last week’s cliff-hanger, GG’s season finale deals with the fallout from Jenny’s scheming ways when she interfered with the gang’s sting operation to catch out William van der Woodsen in his lie, and what will happen if Blair decides to take Chuck up on his ultimatum to meet him atop the Empire State Building before 7:01pm, or he’ll “forever close my heart to you”.

Dan made a surprise appearance in the back of a limo with Serena last week, comforting her after she said goodbye to her father. Another shocker ensues, when Jenny catches Dan and Serena asleep in bed together, and takes a picture of them to blast on Gossip Girl. The dialogue between the two that follows goes a little something like this:

Dan: “Last night… was a mistake.”

Serena: “We’re both in relationships. We just fell asleep…”

Dan: “… After an entire bottle of wine, and a whole lot of talking…”

Serena: “… And one kiss.”

Uh-oh.

Meanwhile Blair, a heavily pregnant Dorota acting as date chaperone and rugby boy Cameron take a detour “off this island” of Manhattan to Brooklyn to put Little J and Dan in their places for “messing with the people I love.”

Dorota tries to urge Blair to meet Chuck, adding that “I defriend Mr. Chuck on Facebook and in life,” but that she mustn’t do the same. Blair is having none of it.

Point in this episode echo the pilot, when Serena returns from boarding school and Chuck tries to put the moves on Jenny. This time around, it’s Jenny being banished to Hudson to live with her mother and see out the school year. But not before she finds time to get deflowered by a dejected Chuck, who waited for Blair “wearing a bow tie and carrying peonies”, to no avail.

Chuck shouldn’t have moved so fast in attempting to get over Blair, as she shows up on his doorstep, explaining that Dorota had her baby and that’s why she was late.

Aww, it seems everything is hunky dory.

Not so fast!

In the dramatic season final, there are several OMG moments, the first one being that Chuck proposes to Blair at the hospital, which is interrupted by a punch to Chuck’s head from Dan, who has found out what unravelled between he and Jenny. Needless to say, Blair never wants to see Chuck again. No, this time she, like, really is serious, you guys!

Serena decides she needs a break from Nate, citing the oft-used “it’s not you, it’s me” response when Nate asks “why?” Nate proceeds to devour Chuck’s little black book when he leaves for Prague.

Blair hitches a ride with her mother and Cyrus to Paris, and invites Serena along for the ride. Dan gets wind of this and Googles Air France, only to be interrupted by none other than hellcat Georgina Sparks, claiming that she has something of Dan’s… which just happens to be residing in her womb! (OMG moment #2.)

The season ends with a shotpardon the punof Chuck exiting a Prague club and being mugged. In an effort to “protect the past” in the form of Blair’s would-be engagement ring, Chuck is shot (OMG moment #3)!

OMG, indeed.

Until September, XOXO.