TV: The Hills Finale—All Good Things Must Come to an End.

 

A lot of viewers might have argued that The Hills had passed its prime awhile ago, probably around the time its star, Lauren Conrad, bid farewell midway through season five.

While that may be somewhat true (personally, my favourite seasons were the second half of season three, and season four), The Hills has always been what it was intended to be; a guilty pleasure.

It was also one of the first shows to really catapult the “scripted reality” notion into the mainstream, in the footsteps of which so many others followed: The Real Housewives, Keeping Up with the Kardashians, Girls of the Playboy Mansion and pretty much every other MTV show since The Hills’ debut (bar Jersey Shore, which Perez Hilton, in last week’s column for Famous, called “raw [and] real”the antithesis of The Hills).

But the buzz has been around the show’s final episode, which aired two weeks ago in the US, and which Australia is still waiting for.

After so much criticism of the action on the show being fake vs. real, with scenes being shot several times for the best angles (both camera- and storyline-wise) and “cut up to death”, the producers and writers (?) decided to capitalise on that allure.

SPOILER ALERT: The final scene sees Kristin Cavallari and Stacie Hall packing the rest of Kristin’s things into a waiting car, as she’s moving to Europe (E! television personality Joel McHale of The Soup hilariously noted that Europe is a continent, not a country, and Kristin never once mentioned where in Europe she was going!), to “find myself” and “figure out what I want”. Brody Jenner is waiting by the car to say a final goodbye to Kristin, who told Brody she loved him but was knocked back. He says he would have got together with her if he knew she would move away when he rejected her. Kristin says “that’s all I’ve ever wanted to hear”, but she’s still going. They hug, kiss, cry, and the car drives away with Kristin inside, leaving Brody brooding beneath the Hollywood sign.

As the camera pans out, the Hollywood sign starts moving, and it is revealed that Brody is standing on a film lot. Kristin runs from the car as the director yells “cut!”, embracing Brody as the two are congratulated by the crew for wrapping the last scene. END SPOILER ALERT.

Confusing, much?!

While The Hills season final may not get as much publicity and/or examination as, say, The Sopranos or LOST, it is a clever poke at the media and Hollywood. Brody said:

“I think the show has always battled with what’s real and what’s fake, and this ending was perfect because you still don’t know what was real, what was fake and it’s kind of like LA in a sense.”

Oh, how poignant!

There are still a lot of loose ends that fans are left hanging with, though, and I guess that’s the dilemma of having a “reality” show that is based on the real lives of its stars, but it scripted to within an inch of its life, and some of its stars (ie. Speidi) can’t reconcile those difference.

I would like to know what happened with Heidi and Spencer, and if they ever reconciled with Holly, Heidi’s sister, and their mother, Darlene. And if Audrina finds what she’s looking for by moving out of Hollywood. Ditto Kristin in Europe.

But I guess we will find these things out in Heidi’s new reality show with The Hills alum Jen Bunney, and Audrina’s rumoured show, The Audrina Patridge Show.

Until then, there’s always the tabloids.

Related: The Hills Have (Dead) Eyes.

Elsewhere: [MTV] Brody Jenner Reveals Alternate Hills Ending with Lauren Conrad.

The Hills Have (Dead) Eyes.

 

While The Hills has come to an end (more on that to come), its final season has been one marred with controversy.

First, Heidi Montag debuted her plastic (not-so-) fantastic look in the lead up to the premiere.

And in other Speidi news, the couple accused a producer of sexual harassment and left the show soon after.

Kristin Cavallari was suspected of having an eating disorder and a drug addiction, while Stephanie Pratt came clean in the tabloids about her past food and alcohol problems.

And finally, Heidi filed for divorce from Spencer, who demonstrated signs of drug dependence and anger management issues in his final episodes.

Phew!

A recent episode, aptly named “This is Goodbye” for Speidi’s last hurrah, was troubling, in that it showed just how distorted Spencer and Heidi’s perception of reality has become.

Kimberly, in a topical blog post on I Love Wildfox (a component of the brand Wildfox Couture), came to the defence of Kristin, Audrina et al, saying that with the seemingly low expectations the producers have of its cast, it’s no wonder Heidi, in particular, “has a warped perception of who she should be”:

“Maybe I need to watch the prior seasons to understand what MTV was really going for, but basing my opinion on this [one] episode I gathered this message from the astoundingly popular series: look pretty, gossip, sunbake, flirt, look pretty…

“The girls on the show are all incredibly physically beautiful. Looking good in every light at every camera angle is not normal. Most girls don’t look half as pretty on camera as they do in real life.

“It saddens me that MTV chose the easy suck-you-in route once again, telling all girls everywhere, ‘this is what you should talk about, this is what you should want to be,’ without showing (even once in an entire episode) what these girls actually struggle with, what they are good at, or what they dream of; even The Girls of the Playboy Mansion managed to do that!”

The buzz surrounding the final episode, which aired last week and featured Kristin leaving for Europe, with a saddened Brody Jenner (Kristin’s ex) watching as she drives awayonly to have the Hollywood sign Brody’s standing in front of revealed as a green screen, and that the whole final scene was shot on a film lot, seems to be taking a stab at the “scripted” label, leaving audiences wondering whether the whole thing was a set-up or if it somehow morphed into one along the way.

Kristin has been quoted as saying that The Hills was just her job, and she would never put her real friends and the people she cares about on TV.

So why did “Heidi’s family appear on the show to discuss her surgery, further condoning the need for limelight on their daughter’s sad and massive insecurities”?

You will notice that it’s really only the Pratt and Montag families who were caught up in the “drama” of the whole show, which bodes the questions: were Speidi’s marital woes all a set up? What is the extent of Heidi’s body dysmorphia and the necessity of her multiple surgeries? Did her family really express shame at her new look, or were they all in on the act, if it was an act, too?

Going back to “This is Goodbye”, there is a scene at a club that Heidi and Spencer rock up to, uninvited, during a fun night out with most of the other cast members. Spencer speaks of he and Heidi’s life together, saying, “I don’t let her go on [watch] TV, no computers. The only thing Heidi does is read and write poetry, and pray, and pet puppies…”, while Heidi sits there genuinely and enthusiastically nodding along, only interjecting to add, “and I read books”.

When Kristin confronts her about being isolated from her friends and family, Heidi says she’s just focussing on her love for Spencer and asks, “who am I without Spencer?” If she’s not an emotionally battered wife, I don’t know who is. As Holly said, “she’s brainwashed”.

Furthermore, Kristin and Audrina add that “there’s nothing going on behind those eyes anymore” and “there’s no emotion”, respectively.

I would tend to agree with these statements, however I don’t agree with what comes next.

When the girls discuss what to do about the abusive state of their friend and sister’s marriage, Lo asserts that “Heidi is guilty on all counts… she hides behind Spencer and plays the victim”.

If this was real life, I would say that Heidi’s alleged friends and family should have stuck by her a little harder, supporting her through her inevitable marriage breakdown.

But we don’t know how real The Hills really is, so I have to say that maybe Heidi did willingly become a victim to Spencer’s controlling ways or, to take it a step further, to Hollywood’s ideal of what a woman should be.

Kimberly declares that she hopes “those of you out there who criticise yourselves and your bodies, who look at thin girls all over the place in fashion, who watch outlandishly pretty young ladies on television, who admire movie stars and supermodels and yearn to be like them can know: That’s not what it looks like. Ever.”

It is also interesting to note that Heidi, and to a lesser extent Stephanie, Holly and Audrina, is the only one whose succumbed to this ideal.

Lauren Conrad, the original star of the show, got out when the going was good, and now leads a relatively quiet life as a fashion designer-cum-author slashie. Kristin, as her earlier comments illustrate, knows it’s only a job. Lo is fairly low-key and we really don’t know that much about her, which is probably the way she likes it. And while Audrina, Holly and Stephanie may have had surgical augmentations of some kind or another, they all remain fairly down-to-earth girls, or so it would seem.

Kimberly also notes that while almost everything on the show is fake, The Hills “is the realest account of female self-destruction I’ve ever seen on television”. This may be true, but this unravelling of Spencer and Heidi can be taken as an exercise in critical discourse about “reality” television, Hollywood and celebrity culture, which bodes the question: why can some people handle fame whilst others become the next Lindsay Lohan, trapped in a prison sentence, both literally and figuratively?

Elsewhere: [I Love Wildfox] That’s What Girls Are Made Of.

TV: Gun Shot Wound to the Head—Grey’s Anatomy Season Final.

 

Last night’s double episode season finale didn’t waste any time getting into the action, with Meredith’s baby bombshell, a shooter let loose in the hospital, Reed Adamson shot dead and Alex Karev mortally wounded.

Never before have I spent a whole two hours of television crying, but Grey’s certainly elicited that response from me this time around. And not just trickling tears; this was breathtaking, heartbreaking scream crying of the Meredith-Grey-when-Cristina-stops-operating-on-McDreamy persuasion.

On that note, the acting in this episode is some of the best I’ve seen on the episode in a long time.

There was a bit of dissention in the ranks amongst fans the past two years when it was alleged that Grey’s had “jumped the shark” with the whole “Gizzie” and Denny-coming-back-as-a-ghost-and-having-sex-with-a-brain-tumour-affected-Izzie predicaments. I was inclined to agree with that, however we can’t overlook the redeeming moments over six seasons, such as Izzie cutting the LVAT wire and Denny’s subsequent death, “code black” and the “it’s George!” bombshell of last year’s finale.

Obviously the major story arc of the finale is Derek getting shot, however each and every sub-plot deserves accolades for its actors.

Michael O’Neill, who plays the shooter, Gary Clark, turns from loving husband to grieving widower as his wife was taken off life-support at the decision of Chief Shepherd and Richard Weber, with Lexie Grey pulling the plug, in an earlier episode.

Clark later tells Lexie that he only intended to kill those three, but evidently Reed, Alex, Percy, Owen Hunt and countless nurses and security guards got in the way.

Bravery was the common theme here, with Derek trying to talk the shooter down from the ledge whilst staring down the barrel of his gun; Owen risking his life to go back into the hospital after Cristina; Charles Percy facing painful and immanent death in the arms of Bailey and their patient Mary, played by Mandy Moore, when the elevators are turned off and there is no way to get him to an OR; Callie and Arizona giving medical supplies to the shooter as he invades the paediatric ward, and telling him to leave the children alone; Richard telling Clark that he’s led a full life, and doesn’t care if he shoots him, however Clark will rot in prison for his acts today. But in the greatest act of bravery, Meredith offers herself up to Clark, as she is Richard’s surrogate daughter, Lexie’s sister and Derek’s wife, and her death would hurt them the most. Meredith probably has selfish motives also, as she told Derek she couldn’t live without him if he died.

In other developments, Callie and Arizona make up and want to make babies, whilst Meredith loses hers in a miscarriage as she operates on Hunt’s GSW. Lexie foolishly (in my opinion, anyway) chooses Alex over the beautiful Mark Sloan, and Hunt chooses Cristina. Percy’s dying wish is, sadly, to have Reed know he had a crush on her. Weber foils Gary Clark’s plot to kill him and comes out victorious. Cristina is forced to operate on Derek as Teddy had already been evacuated from the building, and Meredith expresses the utmost trust in her best friend operating on her husband.

No doubt these are poignant plot points that will carry the series into its seventh season.

And like every other season, I can’t wait!

Bad Boys, Whatcha Gonna Do? Host a Seven Family Show.

Mia Freedman shares my sentiments about famous men getting a slap on the wrist for their indiscretions.

News emerged recently that Matthew Newtonhe of the Brooke Satchwell incident and recent rehab stintis set to host Channel 7’s The X Factor

Allegedly, “his audition was so good that he beat more established TV hosts including Sonia Kruger and Axle Whitehead.” So the guy may be talented, but should he really be hosting a family show?

Then again, the judging panel does include shock-jock Kyle Sandilands and cheater Ronan Keating (both of whom I legitimately like, FYI), along with the angelic and virginal Guy Sebastian. Three out of four ain’t bad, I guess… if you’re in to tuning into a “station [that] is chock a block full of bad boys on big pay packets who are being rewarded for their unsavoury indiscretions with higher profile jobs during the family hour,” as television commentator Andrew Mercado puts it.

Come on down, The Matty Johns Show.

TV: What Once Was LOST, Now is Found?—Lost Finale

lost-eye

Last night was the television event of the year; the Lost finale.

And lo and behold, the theory most Losties held from the very beginning, that the island was some kind of purgatory, was semi-correct.

According to this article from Jezebel (because I need some outside sources to help me come to grips with the [trademark] confusion of the show), the sideways world we became familiar with this season was a “bardo”; a phase experienced by the deceased “between dying and rebirth” in Buddhism.

The article asserts that the sideways world was the bardo and the island the real world, however, it also states that Lost viewers can also draw their own conclusions. My conclusion is that the island was limbo, with Jacob and his brother acting as sort of archangels or guardians of the island to maintain the balance between good (the golden life force of the island) and evil (the smoke monster).

While Jack was initially chosen to replace Jacob as a guardian, he then passed the torch onto Hurley, whom I think is a much more fitting choice.

Hurley is then the new Jacob, and Ben his Richard, whom we see grow a grey hair and thus is able to move on and finally age.

Speaking of Ben, I never really bought him as the villain when he was introduced in season two as Kate, Jack and Sawyer’s hostage holder . He’s more like the misunderstood, not-so-bad guy; the one you love to hate. In the end, he was just a sad, “selfish and jealous” man who didn’t want to move on from the island, and now can’t.

Keeping in theme with the bardoa “place that the Losties had created to reconnect with each other after they had all died”all (and by all, I mean only the ones most relevant to the current plot) the Oceanic 815 passengers reunited, with Charlie, Jin, Sun, Sayid, Rose, Bernard, Libby, Shannon and Boone, and Juliet, Daniel Faraday, Charlotte and Penny all making appearances, in addition to Ana Lucia serving as police escort last week, and Frank found alive after the submarine blast.

The aforementioned Jezebel went full speed ahead with their Lost coverage in the lead up to the finale event, publishing an article on the top 10 already solved mysteries (Richard’s agelessness; the whispers of souls trapped on the island; the “donkey wheel” that Jacob’s brother built and Ben turned to move the island; the identity of Mocke/Smokey/whatever; Jacob’s “anointing” touch; the temple that housed the Kool-Aid that turned Sayid and Claire into zombies; the golden life-force of the island; the list that resided in Hurley’s guitar case; the “loophole” that protects twins Jacob and the Man in Black from killing each other, and their origins as twins), “10 questions to let go” of (Walt; Vincent the dog; Rose and Bernard; the creepazoid Other who tried to steal Claire’s baby, Ethan; Alex’s boyfriend Karl; the “food drops to the Hatch”; “Black Rock Journal”, which I, for the life of me, can’t remember in the show; the reason for Jack’s father Christian Shepherd’s numerous appearances on the island; and “why them?”) and “10 questions that must be answered” (what is Widmore’s deal?; why are all women doomed to miscarry if a child was conceived on the island; the statue at the foot of the island; Claire and Sayid’s zombie-esque transformations; “the sideways universe”; the revelation that the island was under water in the first episode of this season; who is Desmond?; who is Eloise Hawking?; what’s the go with “Jacob’s army”?; and the name of the Man in Black). Disappointingly, barely any of these mysteries were wrapped up in the finale. (Desmond, Vincent, Rose, Bernard, the reason for the parallel universe, why Hurley, the Kwon’s etc. were “chosen” and, surprisingly, Christian Shepherd’s role were the main arcs, with the rest going by the wayside.)

The willingness of most of the original cast, including Dominic Monaghan, Sonya Walger, Elizabeth Mitchelland Ian Somerhalder who were all working on other projects (albeit mostly flops; the ill-fated FlashForward and V, respectively, while Somerhalder’s Vampire Diaries enjoys more success), to return for the finale hints, perhaps, at a Lost movie to continue the saga. A much needed continuation of the saga, I might add.

In other news, the performances on the parts of Matthew Fox (Jack) and Terry O’Quinn (Locke), in particular, were stellar, and I loved how the focus was on the Darth vs. Luke, Lennon vs. McCartney, Lauren vs. Heidi-esque feud between those two characters as to what was best for the island and its inhabitants.

Also, the Jack/Sawyer/Kate love triangle was brought to a close, with Kate choosing Jack, and Sawyer pairing back up with Juliet. Kate was kickass in killing Mocke, whom I think was eliminated far too easily and early in the piece.

Ultimately, like any good series, it was as much about the bond between the characters and the “shared human experience” as it was about the hard-to-follow, unbelievable and sometimes downright convoluted plot points. But, all in all, while I liked the emotional aspects of the episode and the reunion of the Jack, Locke et al, especially with the disclosure of Christian and Desmond’s true purposes, I was very disappointed in the culmination, which I’m sure a lot of other Losties are too.

Elsewhere: [Jezebel] Lost Finale Recap: Case Closed.

[Jezebel] 10 Questions Lost Needs to Answer.

TV: The Last Tango… For the Season—Gossip Girl Season Three Finale.

It’s all about the season finales. Last night, Gossip Girl; tonight, LOST.

After last week’s cliff-hanger, GG’s season finale deals with the fallout from Jenny’s scheming ways when she interfered with the gang’s sting operation to catch out William van der Woodsen in his lie, and what will happen if Blair decides to take Chuck up on his ultimatum to meet him atop the Empire State Building before 7:01pm, or he’ll “forever close my heart to you”.

Dan made a surprise appearance in the back of a limo with Serena last week, comforting her after she said goodbye to her father. Another shocker ensues, when Jenny catches Dan and Serena asleep in bed together, and takes a picture of them to blast on Gossip Girl. The dialogue between the two that follows goes a little something like this:

Dan: “Last night… was a mistake.”

Serena: “We’re both in relationships. We just fell asleep…”

Dan: “… After an entire bottle of wine, and a whole lot of talking…”

Serena: “… And one kiss.”

Uh-oh.

Meanwhile Blair, a heavily pregnant Dorota acting as date chaperone and rugby boy Cameron take a detour “off this island” of Manhattan to Brooklyn to put Little J and Dan in their places for “messing with the people I love.”

Dorota tries to urge Blair to meet Chuck, adding that “I defriend Mr. Chuck on Facebook and in life,” but that she mustn’t do the same. Blair is having none of it.

Point in this episode echo the pilot, when Serena returns from boarding school and Chuck tries to put the moves on Jenny. This time around, it’s Jenny being banished to Hudson to live with her mother and see out the school year. But not before she finds time to get deflowered by a dejected Chuck, who waited for Blair “wearing a bow tie and carrying peonies”, to no avail.

Chuck shouldn’t have moved so fast in attempting to get over Blair, as she shows up on his doorstep, explaining that Dorota had her baby and that’s why she was late.

Aww, it seems everything is hunky dory.

Not so fast!

In the dramatic season final, there are several OMG moments, the first one being that Chuck proposes to Blair at the hospital, which is interrupted by a punch to Chuck’s head from Dan, who has found out what unravelled between he and Jenny. Needless to say, Blair never wants to see Chuck again. No, this time she, like, really is serious, you guys!

Serena decides she needs a break from Nate, citing the oft-used “it’s not you, it’s me” response when Nate asks “why?” Nate proceeds to devour Chuck’s little black book when he leaves for Prague.

Blair hitches a ride with her mother and Cyrus to Paris, and invites Serena along for the ride. Dan gets wind of this and Googles Air France, only to be interrupted by none other than hellcat Georgina Sparks, claiming that she has something of Dan’s… which just happens to be residing in her womb! (OMG moment #2.)

The season ends with a shotpardon the punof Chuck exiting a Prague club and being mugged. In an effort to “protect the past” in the form of Blair’s would-be engagement ring, Chuck is shot (OMG moment #3)!

OMG, indeed.

Until September, XOXO.

Extreme Makeover: Jersey Girls

I bought the May issue of Harper’s Bazaar US for the sole purpose of seeing the Jersey Shore girlsSnooki, Sammi & JWowwout of their usual uniforms of too-short short shorts, “pleather leggings” and acrylic nails and into something a little more classy.

My first instinct while watching the show was to cover my eyes but, like a car crash, it’s just too fascinating not to watch. Jersey Shore is nearing the end of season one on Australian screens, but never fear Snooki, the Situation and co. are currently filming season two.

On the whole, Bazaar was disappointing, but the beautiful shots of the girlsin particular those of Sammiin formal wear was worth it alone.

I found the accompanying article patronising and it pigeonholed the girls, who I do think have good hearts and minds underneath it allyou just have to chisel through the mountains of silicone and hair extensions to get to them. It has nothing, though, on Interview’s spread on the Jersey boys, Mike “the Situation”, Pauly D, Ronnie and Vinnie, which was quite revealing and made me see most of the guidos in a different light.

Mike, you’re still a douche.

Three Reasons to Jump on the Glee Bandwagon (According to Famous).

famous glee

#1. Olivia Newton-John has been confirmed to sin “Let’s Get Physical”—tacky, ’80s pop culture at its best!

#2. A rumoured appearance by Adam Lambert. “Series creator Ryan Murphey” would love to have Glambert on the show.

#3. Two words (albeit hyphenated): MADONNA-THEMED EPISODE! This week’s TV Week also profiles “The Power of Madonna” (p. 104–105), with a blow-by-blow guide to the Material Girl’s hits featured on the ep, (airing here May 6.) I gotta get me some of that!

Full-blown Famous review to come later today.

TV: Brothers & Sisters Abuzz

Rob Lowe’s impending departure from TV’s favourite semi-dysfunctional family drama, Brothers & Sisters, is the current tabloid fodder following the show, however last night’s episode, entitled “Time After Time, Part 1”, really pared down the real-life commotion and focussed on what the fictional Walkers are best at—acting.

The first instalment in a two-parter borrows it’s title from the Cyndi Lauper 1985 release, which is when the episode is set. Kudos to the casting director, as the younger version of Sarah is spot on, and the latter-day Tommy and Kevin aren’t too bad, either.

But it’s Sally Field and Matthew Rhys who really steal the show, giving Emmy-worthy performances as a desperate mother trying to protect and subsequently reunite her family, and a grieving gay man who finds himself at the crux of a decades-old family secret, respectively. Chuck in more mystery surrounding the location of Narrow Lake and relationship milestones for Justin and Rebecca, and you’ve got yourself an hour of contented viewing. I won’t give the ending away for those of you who haven’t seen this week’s chapter (or next week’s for that matter, as I have been a lucky (and happy) little Vegemite and seen the whole 120 minutes), but I can reveal this much: loyal Brothers & Sisters watchers, you won’t be disappointed.

And for those of you not yet initiated into the Walker clan, perhaps now is the time…