“Gaslighting”: have you ever experienced it? I have. When people ask if I’ve got a boyfriend and I tell them “no, I’m still single” they say “you’re just too picky.” When I kick up a stink over sexist, racist or unjust attitudes and behaviours, I’m told “women get so offended by everything. They’re just too sensitive.” [The Good Men Project]

Co-ed or same sex schools? Personally, I choose co-ed all the way, as I want my children to be able to interact with people of the opposite sex like they will have to outside of schooling, and because, as the article points out, same-sex schools in Australia are mostly private, and I am 100% against private schooling. [MamaMia]

The gender divide between women’s and men’s magazines: is there one? Women tend to be presented in pretty much the same way in both. [Gender Across Borders]

Following the grand final weekend, is football akin to religion in Melbourne?:

“I could never follow a religion that deems homosexuality a sin or refuses equal rights in the form of marriage; that calls abortion murder; that tells the poor to have more children; that aids and abets paedophiles. And as such, I can’t devote myself to an institution that covers up scandals, that promotes a pack mentality of win at all costs, that is sponsored by a betting company in a country where problem gambling is endemic.” [MamaMia]

The myths about allowing women on the frontlines of war zones. [The Punch]

We don’t need less porn, just better porn. [MamaMia]

The GASP shitstorm that was heard across the nation. What are your thoughts on the matter? I’m not surprised, really, as my sister had a similar experience when she was shopping for her Year 10 formal dress a few years ago. This was during her fake-tan, exercising-during-the-flu, applying-foundation-over-her-lips-so-they-matched-the-colour-of-her-face phase, which occurred just after her emo and rap phases, but before her hipster phase, which she is still embroiled in. Anyways, after trying on a dress she really liked, we decided to have a look at a few other shops before committing to the purchase. My sister left her number so the sales assistant (not a “retail superstar”) could call her if someone else expressed an interest in the dress. A couple of hours later, after my sister settled on a dress she found in Myer, the assistant called her. When my sister informed her of the alternative purchase, the assistant rudely dismissed and hung up the phone on her! Must be a GASP thing… [MamaMia]

“Make love, not porn”. While I don’t agree with most of the assertions in this article—that Playboy shows “graphic” close-ups of female genitalia and therefore should be considered porn—it is a though-provoking read. In actuality, while Playboy would fit under the dictionary definition of “porn”—depictions of erotic behaviour designed to incite sexual arousal—by no means does it feature “graphic” displays of female genitalia. If anything, it’s shows the gross photoshopping of genitalia, stretchmarks, sagging skin and whatever else is deemed “unsexy” on a woman. Playboy’s not porn, it’s pure fantasy. [ABC Religion & Ethics]

“What’s a Girl Worth?” [We Mixed Our Drinks]

The “feminazi” and Hollywood’s reluctance to call feminism and feminists by its/their name. [Feminist Frequency]

Rachel Hills with the third instalment of her “Guide to Feminist Wedding Planning”, focusing on the white, religious and heteronormative traditions of giving away, bridal parties and hens nights, to name a few. [Musings of an Inappropriate Woman]

Hollywood’s damsels in distress as gothic literature icons:

“One reason for the enduring appeal of the gothic genre is that while it tends to trot out the same old images and literary devices, it takes care to cloak these devices in a contemporary guise. Victorian gothic, for instance, was haunted by the theories of evolution and the unconscious; the changing roles of women in society; and rapid advances in science and technology…

“If 2007 seemed like the year in which real-life celebrity gossip turned gothic, it’s probably because new-media outlets that stormed the industry—outlets like TMZ and PerezHilton.com—had by then ditched the business of worshiping celebrities for the more lucrative business of persecuting them. Suddenly, we found ourselves transfixed by tales of young women moving unprotected (or legally emancipated) from the relatively sheltered condition of parent-managed child stardom (because who, nowadays, is more cut off from the world than a child star?) into a corrupt and dangerous world where they exist in a constant state of uncertainty and peril. And they were often placed in this peril by the very outlets that then shaped their resultant antics into thrilling, chilling tales of suspense.” [New York Times]

This brilliant article on domestic violence earned Trent Dalton the Journalist of the Year award in Queensland. [Courier Mail]

The struggle of an overweight woman to obtain an abortion. [First, Do No Harm via Jezebel]

Jon Hamm, rape and “the lack of positive male role models”. [Jezebel]

Halloween: fast becoming the most expensive holiday. [Time]

Is the clitoris biologically needed, or will it be phased out with evolution? [San Francisco Weekly]

Chick flick tropes. [The New Yorker]

Writing for women’s lifestyle magazines doesn’t have to be an exercise in anti-feminism. [Musings of an Inappropriate Woman]

Sex and the superheroine. [Comics Alliance]

Just because you haven’t been raped doesn’t mean you’re not qualified to comment on “rape culture”. [The Good Men Project]

Female sexuality, weakness, power, and reclaiming in the c-word. [Raili Simojoki]

Amanda Knox and slut-shaming:

“… If Knox had been a little less pretty, a little less sexual, and a little less American, she’d never have spent a day in prison for her roommate’s murder.” [The Good Men Project]

My idol, Mia Freedman, interviews my former co-worker, comedienne, writer and disability activist, Stella Young. Jealousy ensues! [MamaMia]

Images via YouTube, The Hollywood Gossip, Comics Alliance.

Do these sex trafficking awareness ads do more harm than good? [Copyranter]

On Zooey Deschanel and “girlishness”. [HuffPo]

And from a link featured in the above article, Julia Klausner laments said girlishness:

“I’m begging age-appropriate females: Read something written before you were born. Stand up straight. Make sure you own one piece of jewelry that you did not purchase on Etsy. Use capital letters in an email to the guy you want to date. Let him take you out on a date, maybe not on a walk or an Xbox session, even if you are, God help you, addicted to LA Noire. Meet your friend for wine instead of fro-yo one night. Watch a movie with no early-’90s nostalgic appeal. Bitch, you already know Clueless by heart.” [Jezebel]

2 Broke Girls is not as bad as Jezebel thought. Nor is New Girl, for that matter.

Who is the Falling Man? [Esquire]

Mia Freedman on the dangers of teen sexting. [MamaMia]

In a similar vein, Erica Bartle tackles the online activity of teens. [Girl with a Satchel]

Dating while beautiful. [The Beheld]

The “power and politics” of being a tall girl:

“It’s funny—height, like physical strength, is one of those things we don’t really care much for in women because we say it upsets the ‘natural order of things,’ which is that men are the Protectors and women the Protected.  It’s all well and good to be the Protected, as long as you don’t consider the fact that the only way to perform your role well is to be physically vulnerable.  After all, if you are not vulnerable, what’s the point of having a Protector?…

“Yet it’s difficult not to notice that my height has given me very real advantages… like not having to deal with cowardly men harassing me as I walk down the street, or being able to push my way past predatory fraternity boys who tried to corner me in college, or standing my ground in large crowds, or taking up space in public, or a whole mess of other things that I take for granted that other women don’t get to experience.

“This is why I will always encourage women to develop their physical and mental strength.  There is no reason why physical power should be meted out simply by luck of birth.  A woman who is 5’2″ has just as much right to be here in this world as I do.  She has as much right to take up space and to walk down streets as I do.  It’s a damn shame that we live in a world that demands we fight for such basic human experiences, and I hope that someday in the future it’s no longer necessary, but until then, let’s not make it easy for those who want to take these rights away from us.” [Fit & Feminist]

The Detestable Self: what are your worst qualities? Mine are that I’m selfish, stubborn, unforgiving and self-righteous. But these are what make me, me, and at the end of the day, I like the way I am and I do enjoy being a bit selfish, set in my ways, grudge-holding and judgmental every now and then. [Girl with a Satchel]

The apocalypse is nigh: Mississippi wants to pass a bill that gives unimplanted, fertilised eggs personhood rights. [Ms. Magazine]

What’s a feminist voter to do?:

“Maybe, as with any other long-term relationship, feminism and liberalism simply grew to take each other for granted. Maybe we feminists got lulled into a false sense of security that liberals are our natural, stalwart and obvious allies, and wouldn’t display misogyny or old boys’ tendencies. It’s understandable, but a gravely simplifying loyalty and trust, if so, because misogyny is something that all of us can struggle with or exhibit—whether male or female (women engage in women-hating, self-loathing, and sexuality-hating behaviors, too), and whether liberal or conservative.” [HuffPo]

The conservative Gardasil debate between Republican presidential hopefuls Rick Perry and (God save us all) Michele Bachman. [The New Yorker]

Why I Love & Hate Pretty Woman. [Tits & Sass]

The problem with porn from a male point of view. [Good Men Project]

Why the advent of smart phones, Facebook and Twitter wouldn’t have been productive for 9/11 families. [Good]

“Weddings as Work.” Very interesting. Caitlin Moran touches on this in How to Be a Woman, which I will be reviewing in the coming weeks. [Kay Steiger]

How the banning of the burqa is “making things worse” in France. [Jezebel]

The dangers of seeking out an abortion at a “crisis pregnancy centre”. [Jezebel]

This takes the cake when it comes to tasteless and totally offensive Halloween costumes: sexy “Anna Rexia”. [Jezebel]

“How to Talk About Religion Without Starting a Fight.” Handy. [Jezebel]

How to tone down the sexy in the workplace. [MamaMia]

“The Seven Types of Book Lover.” I’m definitely—much to my fellow book lovers’ dismay—“the dog-earer” and “the underliner”. However, my weapon of choice is the highlighter. Which type are you? [MamaMia]

Ahh, yet more mansplaining. [Feminaust]

Camilla Peffer gives some advice on how to get work experience/internships. [Girls Are Made From Pepsi]

MTV, please stop supporting misogynistic artists such as Chris Brown and Tyler, the Creator. [Be Closer]

The last taboo: female masturbation? [The New Republican]

Rape analogy. Funny ’cause it’s true. [Downlo]

The “vegetarian line”. [MamaMia]

“The Cult of Muscularity.” [Bitch Magazine]

On Thylane Blondeau and the sexualisation of girls:

“Yes, that’s right. She’s wearing lipstick and heels. She’s wearing things that adult women wear and adult women are sexy. What else are those poor, poor men supposed to do? Here’s a thought: nothing. I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again. There was never a man in history who dressed his son up like him and was accused of pimping him out. If this girl’s mother dressed this way, she’d be considered classy, fashionable, and beautiful. So what’s the difference? They’re clothes, not sex, so why is it okay for an adult woman to wear these things in public, but not a child? Because clothes like this are considered to be no less than full consent to sexual advances. That’s what the problem is. It’s not the clothes, it’s not that she looks good, it’s not even that she looks sexy, it’s that people consider skirts, lipstick, and earrings consent to sex.” [Blogging When the Baby Isn’t Looking]

Images via Copyranter, Jezebel, Be Closer, Downlo, Style Bungalow.

Crystal Renn explains the whole eye-taping scandal. [Jezebel]

Sex & the City, post 9/11. [New York Magazine]

And what has changed about New York since that fateful day just over ten years ago? [New York Magazine]

Reminiscing about 9/11, Mia Freedman writes about “grief porn”. [MamaMia]

The problem with Jezebel. [Slate]

Charing Ball on the hullabaloo surrounding Beyonce’s pregnancy announcement and how she’s “doing it the right way”:

“Many of the same folks, who once chastised Beyonce for waiting for motherhood, are rushing to sing the praises of how the couple, but more specifically Beyonce, ‘did it the right way.’ You know, the correct order of things: dating, marriage and then the kid. Never mind that her better half is a 41-year-old man, who still grabs his crotch out in public and wears his hat turned backwards. But more to the point, this whole ‘look at the positive role Bey is setting for young women’ conversation, which is now happening around the blogosphere, reeks of slut-shaming.

“Beneath the celebratory ‘she did it the right way’ discussion is an underlining message, which seeks to shame and stigmatise women, who for whatever reason, go in on motherhood alone. Some bloggers see Beyonce’s pregnancy as some sort of triumph over single women, who have gotten pregnant before or outside of marriage. And as such, Beyonce’s baby bump and wedding ring have now become kindling to further flame the existence of these unwed women, who by virtue of their singledom, are obviously failures at motherhood and are incapable of rearing a child with morals and values worthy of society.” [Atlanta Post]

“Cartoon Characters & Their Teenage Alter Egos.” [Rookie]

Also from Rookie, Tavi Gevinson on girl hate:

“She walks a certain way, answers questions in class a certain way, wears stuff no one else could pull off? Look: confidence is not a crime. It does not mean a girl is a bitch or a slut, or thinks she’s better than you. It just means that she likes herself. And personally, I don’t wanna live in a world where any girl with healthy self-esteem is labeled a whore, or where you have to dislike yourself to be considered a nice person.”

“The Help Isn’t Racist. Its Critics Are.” [The New Republic]

Should pedophiles be granted the right to redefine their “mental illness” to “minor-attracted persons”? [Salon]

I commented on Aimless Panther’s post on Feminaust from a couple of weeks ago, on whether fat is a “feminist issue”, asking what her views on control underwear were. Ask and you shall receive.

Panther also laments the “fall back on[to] gender stereotypes. It may give me great material to mock, but in the end it makes all our efforts harder”:

“You can take your real men, [Bryony] Gordon, your philandering, fat dickheads, and just bugger right off. Give me the men who struggle against gender roles and straighten their hair, worry about their health and have the art of conversation. I reckon they’ll be more interesting.” [Feminaust, The Age]

Getting to know the Prime Minister a year (when it was published) on from her ousting of K. Rudd. Interesting stuff. [The Monthly]

Discussing male body image. [Bitch]

Also on masculinity, exploring it in televisions best shows. [The Good Men Project, via Jezebel]

“How Much Alcohol to Drink So You Never Die.” Spoiler alert: you will die. [Jezebel]

In the vein of sexual harassment and stalking on The Scarlett Woman in the last week or so, Jezebel’s Jenna Sauers gets masturbated to on the subway and the cops did nothing.

Also with street subway harassment, Chloe at Feministing lets us know the “things you should not say to a stranger on the subway”, in case we didn’t already.

Plus-sized Nancy Upton gives the plus-sized American Apparel model competition a run for its money. [Jezebel, MamaMia]

Thank Your Wank. Hmm… A website that allows wankers, in every sense of the word, to thank their fantasy subjects. There’s even a “to-do” list. Vile, or just a bit of fun? [Jezebel, MamaMia]

Erica Bartle on the work/life balance. [Girl with a Satchel]

Still with GWAS, Erica explores the role of the media in the wake of the News of the World phone hacking scandal, the Nine News-Daniel Morcombe “live” cross, the “burden v. benefit” of airing our opinions online, and the anonymous comment.

The case for anti-discrimination laws and welfare benefits for the “ugly”, whatever that means. [The New York Times]

Dirty Dancing as feminist text. [The Guardian]

This post, about what happened with Maureen Shaw went off the pill, made me rethink doing so myself! [Jezebel]

The transphobic, ignorant and just plain vile response to Chaz Bono being featured on U.S. Dancing with the Stars makes me think freedom of speech may be a bad thing. -Phobic and -ist speech, anyway. [Jezebel]

Images via The Guardian, Jezebel, Rookie.