Category Archives: On the Net

“With a Gun Between Her Legs,” Take 2.

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From “Is Female-on-Male Violence on the Rise?” by Lynn Harris:

“… ‘we are fascinated by girls’ and women’s violence’. For those who like to see women—Angelina Jolie, even Helen Mirren—wielding serious, even heretofore forbidden, power, it’s hot. For those who fear women in that role, it’s… not. ‘For all the increased tolerance, even celebration, of aggressive women in pop culture, in daily life there’s still a lot of disapproval of women even speaking up at meetings or asking for a raise, let alone committing a physically aggressive act,’…”

Related: “With a Gun Between Her Legs”—Why “Strong” (AKA “Sexy” Whilst Being “Strong”) Female Characters Are Bad for Women.

Elsewhere: [Salon] Is Female-on-Male Violence on the Rise?

On the (Rest of the) Net.

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The Queensland schoolgirl/Nick Riewoldt scandal is still going strong, with articles at both MamaMia and Deadspin worth a look.

Also at MamaMia, “Are You Spending More or Less Time on Facebook Than Last Year?” I’d say it’s about the same for me.

The psychology of suicide bombers.

Inner confidence = shaving your pubes at Musings of an Inappropriate Woman.

Many people accused Holly Madison, Hugh Hefner’s former number one girlfriend, of being a gold digger, but after years of being “fucked in the ass—figuratively and literally… she earned it”. Similar accusations follow Hef’s latest fiancé, Crystal Harris.

GWAS and Marta Wohrle on “The High Standards of Blogging”.

“How to Deal With a Neat Freak” at Lifehacker. How about when you’re the neat freak…?

Picture Perfect.

By Posted in Beauty, Body Image, On the Net Tagged , , , , , , , , , , 11 Comments

 

From “No Refuge: How Webcams & Cell Phones Ratchet Up the Pressure to be Perfect” by Hugo Schwyzer:

“… A young woman who had been scrupulous about her appearance all day could return to her bedroom at night, change into what was comfortable, and have at least a little waking time where her looks didn’t matter…

“The real problem is that the webcam has stripped the bedroom and the bathroom from their role as safe refuge from the beauty-obsessed culture…”

I find Schwyzer’s points to be particularly poignant to my own life.

Until a few months ago, I had lived either at home, with family who knew me from the day I was born and had seen me in all my glory (and not-so-glorious moments) for twenty-two years, or on my own. During that time, as soon as I would get home I’d change into my pyjamas, wipe the makeup off, and pop the curlers in, not caring what I looked like.

Then I moved in with my cousin, and I kept up appearances for a few days until I realised she likes to bum around the house in holey pants and nose strips, too.

Honestly, I don’t give a crap what I look like at home, and if I don’t want to draw attention to myself, I will adopt my at-home strategy in the big wide world, too.

For example, most mornings I go for a jog as soon as I wake, and usually stop by the supermarket on the way home. I chuck a bit of lipgloss on an whip my hair (though not in true Willow Smith style) into a ponytail, but other than that, I look pretty crappy. If I wanted to be stared at while I exercised, I would go to a juice-head gym in full make-up and a crop top or jog with my friend Tess at her neighbourhood track, where the beautiful people go to workout. But I don’t.

A similar situation occurred at my work Christmas party. I was getting my slut on when I was approached by Jack Sparrow. He initiated contact (both verbal and physical), asking which department I worked in and why he’d never seen me before. Unbeknownst to him, he had seen me before…

… Earlier that day, I rocked up for a few hours to help set up in jeans, a t-shirt, work boots (okay, they were Tony Bianco) and my glasses, where he was also lending a hand. He took one glance at me and continued with his work.

What’s even funnier? The following day I reverted back to my bespectacled self, and he went about his day, not realising that I was the girl from the night before.

I don’t begrudge him that, though. I deliberately do these things to fly under (or above) the radar.

Relating more closely to Schwyzer’s point, however, I’m lucky; my generation managed to bypass the whole webcam/sexting/profile pictured frenzy that consumes the lives of teens now. Who knows what pressures I would have faced—and how differently my psyche would have developed—if my privacy was constantly invaded by mobile phones, Facebook and the like?

Celebrities who are a little younger than I am, though, like Rihanna, Vanessa Hudgens and (the markedly younger) Miley Cyrus have succumbed to the allure of naked photography, with the latter also dabbling in the filming of lap dances to 40-year-old directors and experimentation with bongs.

Personally, I don’t understand the pull of compromising photos. My advice to teen starlets and football players alike? If you’re going to take compromising photos, make sure you’re the only one with a copy or JUST. DELETE. THEM.

Related: ’Tis the Season…

Elsewhere: [Hugo Schwyzer] No Refuge: How Webcams & Cell Phones Ratchet Up the Pressure to be Perfect.

The Perils of Living with the Parentals.

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I’m writing this after spending five nights over Christmas at my mum’s place; the home I moved out of eleven months ago.

It’s no secret that our mother-daughter relationship was strained in the final years of me paying board, and at sporadic intervals over the past year, so I approached this Christmas with some trepidation.

But I was oh-so-pleasantly surprised that there were no major arguments or fights (like last Christmas… and the Christmas before that, come to think of it!), and I found myself wanting to spend time at the family home, as opposed to only being there to sleep, eat and catch up on my TV shows, as was the case in the few months before I moved out.

MamaMia had a post up a few weeks ago from site contributor Lucy Ormonde, who is 23and still lives at home. Ormonde detailed the benefits of living at home, such as a free laundry service, lower rent/board costs and the comforts of having your family around.

Well I’m here to rebut those comments, listing my top five reasons for leaving…:

1. I needed some “me” time (long-time readers of this blog will know how important that is to me), without parents hounding me to hang out my washing or sisters yelling at me to turn my TV down. Now I hang out my damn washing when I can be bothered, and have to TV as loud as my heart ears desire (see above).

2. Independence. I’m quite an independent, solitary person by nature, and whilst living alone is hard fiscally, it helped me gain financial independence that I otherwise might not have.

3. Overstaying my welcome. While Ormonde is 23 and her living arrangement with her parents is still going strong, I feel I overstayed my welcome about two or three years. While I was not ready to go out into the big, wide world and fend for myself, my mum felt that I was, and that caused friction.

4. I’d been studying and working in Melbourne for four years before I made the move here from country Victoria, so it only made sense. It was also one of the best decisions I’ve ever made.

5. Cutting the apron strings. In this day and age, the apron strings are cut much later in life, as about half of my good friends would attest to. The other half would probably default to the rest of the points on this list as reasons for severing their family ties.

… and those for loving living out of home:

1. Doing what I want, when I want.

2. Developing my own decorating style, as opposed to working within the limits of my mother’s.

3. Having parties, board game nights and as many people stay over after a big night out as I want (or as many as my sofa arrangement will allow).

4. Getting up as early as I want to vacuum, make smoothies or watch morning television. Most normal people would say “sleeping as late as I want”, but since I grew out of the sleeping-til-1pm phase in high school, I’ve been an early riser. Now I can do noisy things in the morning without risking the wrath of late sleepers.

5. Taking the next step. A study in the New York Times lists “completing school, leaving home, becoming financially independent, marrying and having a child” as the milestones of “emerging adulthood”. Well I’ve achieved three of the five, so now I just need to get married and pop out some babies. Although, getting a boyfriend first might help…

Related: The 10 Commandments of Work/Life Balance.

Elsewhere: [MamaMia] I’m 23, I Live At Home & Here’s Why.

[The New York Times] What is it About 20-Somethings?

On the (Rest of the) Net.

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(Sorry, only one picture this week as I wrote this quite late at night—hey, 9pm is late for me, okay! I live the lifestyle of a grandma. In fact, I think my grandma stays up later than I do!—and just wasn’t inspired.)

There’s a lot of content worth reading on MamaMia at the moment:

“Would you wear Nicole Richie’s wedding dress?” Yes, if it were a little less poofy and a little more ivory. In fact, it is somewhat similar to the wedding dress I have created in my mind for my own wedding. Now, to find that pesky groom…

By the same guy who brought you the brilliant “17 Arguments Against Gay Marriage & Why They’re Bollocks” comes the equally as brilliant “10 Things You Need to Understand About Asylum Seekers”.

This is worth taking a look at if you care at all about where your supermarket eggs come from.

And finally, is Shane Warne punching above his weight? He sure is, but really, who cares? While I can’t stand Warney and think he is the king of the douches, good on him for bagging someone as hot as Liz Hurley. But shame on her for allowing herself to be seduced by said king of the douches.

Rachel Hills on what’s in and what’s out for 2011:

“Fool: Binge drinking.

“Cool: Binge thinking.

“… Fool: Staying out til 3am because it’s a Friday night and that’s what you’re supposed to do.

“Cool: Staying in on weekends if that’s what you feel like doing, going out on weeknights if there’s something cool on…

“Fool: Internet fameballs and feigning a glamorous life in the hope of inspiring envy in others. Lifecasting.

“Cool: Mindcasting. Reading other people’s blogs instead of just trying to get them to read yours.”

Tiger Beatdown’s fun facts about straight people:

  • “Most of them are not dangerous!
  • “Some of them are actually quite lovely people.
  • “Straight people are not as violent as they are portrayed in action movies.
  • “Straight people are your neighbors, your friends, members of your community. You may be related to a straight person, or even share a room with one in the hospital.
  • “I mean it TAKES ALL KINDS, amirite?
  • “Tomorrow, while you are attending the daily Straight Pride Parades that form the totality of public life in America, take a moment to tell a straight person you support their life decisions.
  • “Tell them you know many fine straight people.
  • “Then put your hand near their ear, and pretend to find a silver dollar there. They love that shit.

“Straight people will NOT:

  • “Try to make you straight.
  • “(Not that it would work, amirite?)
  • “Make it impossible for you to appreciate Ani DiFranco on rainy days.
  • “Make you want to move to Florida.
  • “Inject a lot of brown into your wardrobe.
  • “Drag you on a cruise and then spend two weeks complaining about how few deck chairs there are.”

Just one of the reasons SJP and SATC ruined NYC:

“Cheated on your boyfriend? Threw a public hissy fit? OMG, it’s just like that one episode of ‘SATC’! So don’t sweat your own stupid, overly dramatic behaviour… everything will be okay when the credits roll in 20 minutes. Or, you know, not.”

Sady Doyle on the Julian Assange rape allegations:

“.. You know who doesn’t stand to profit? Like, at all? The women pressing the charges. Because (a) rape victims almost never profit from taking their cases through the legal system, which is why so few do, and (b) they’re already facing substantive personal smearing and stereotyping and in some cases having Keith fucking Olbermann insist they have ‘ties’ to the ‘CIA’ (oh for FUCK’s sake), and (c) they’re not pressing some airtight case here. Because, as we all know, the only AIRTIGHT rape case is one where Julian Assange jumps out of the bushes with a chainsaw and an assault rifle and you try to fight him back with your bare hands but ultimately he cuts off both your arms with the chainsaw thus ‘proving’ that you ‘resisted’ him, and oh also, he’s not Julian Assange, he’s a homeless man of colour named Stabs McMurderson, and you’re not an average woman, you’re a fourteen-year-old blonde white virgin who’s walking home from the Jesus School of Sewing and Homemakery. I would add that the whole thing would have to be captured on tape, but there have been ACTUAL RAPES that were ACTUALLY CAUGHT ON TAPE and they didn’t get through, because the defence alleged that the girl was ‘faking’ unconsciousness because she wanted to ‘make porn’.”

My friend said I wasn’t unique in having a blog as every sixteen-year-old and their dog has one. Some friend, right? (Love you, April!) I’ll pay that, but according to Gawker, blogging is an old person thing now.

Mick Foley is Good.

On the (Rest of the) Net.

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Yet another reason to “really dislike Katy Perry”.

On the other hand, yet another reason to “Be Pretty Damn Euphoric You Live in New York City”:

“We are, as a group, anti-fanny-pack as much as we are pro-gay-marriage. Hetero marriage… we can pretty much take or leave.”

Dr. Katrina Warren on “The Grief of Losing a Pet”. Be warned: this is a tear jerker. I was bawling by the third paragraph, possibly because this story is close to my heart. I lost my dog Ben (above), who’d been with us for seven years, last year, and I still miss him like crazy.

While it may be summer here in the Southern Hemisphere, Gawker lists the “10 Things I Love About Winter”, one being winter movies (which we see here in summer):

“So while Pirates of the Caribbean 18: The Scullery’s Scourage, Transformers 8: This Time It’s Impersonal, and Men in Black 3: Will Smith’s Kids Can’t Make All the Money may make your July 4th jam, I’d rather pass the popcorn in December.”

Satah from This Ain’t Living mourns the loss of “the fun, campy, musical romp of high school TV shows”, Glee.

From “Harry Potter and the Incredibly Conservative Aristocratic Children’s Club”:

“Maybe, incidentally, the reason no other woman as smart as Hermione appears in the books is that J.K. Rowling, like the Turk, can bear no sister near the throne. Her volcanic ego burns down everything in its path. Where the Twilight books are works produced from and for a state of sexual yearning and frustration, Rowling’s ‘wizarding world’ is a fantasy place created for the benefit of Hermione Granger, for her infinite sagacity, foresightedness and teacher’s-pet-hood to be rewarded at every turn.”

I wish Dolly Parton was my fairy godmother.

Elizabeth Wurtzel on the sex appeal of Sarah Palin. Sure, she may be a “kind of sexy librarian, kind of a MILF” but “unfortunately, Sarah Palin is not very bright, not very thoughtful and not very qualified to run a country”. Well said.

“This is a post about judgement”, by Mia Freedman.

Valley of the Dolls.

By Posted in Body Image, Feminism, On the Net Tagged , , , , , , , , 1 Comment

 

From “The Tyranny of Self-Perfection” by Anne Summers on The Australian website:

“… voicing her concerns that, overall, women were slipping backwards from the promise of equality that she, the daughter of a feminist, had grown up with. Another guest demurred: ‘Young women now have good role models, they are forging ahead,’ Anne McElvoy, deputy editor of the London Evening Standard told her ‘Why do you think things are bad for them?’

“It is entirely possible that McElvoy had never seen a Bratz doll or watched a Lady Gaga video. Unless she has young daughters or other close relatives she might not be aware of the ubiquity of pink or the Playboy logos that are now de rigueur adornments on the pencil cases of the pre-teen set.

“This reviewer has to confess a comparable ignorance. Sure, I’ve seen little girls dressed inappropriately for travel in pink tutus at airports. I’ve checked myself from disapproving of the skimpy outfits sported by 10-year-old daughters of friends. Gee, I still thought Barbie was bad.

“It’s partly that she now has daughters and has discovered that the ‘slutty and sultry’ Bratz with its wardrobe for clubbing and shopping has displaced innocent blonde Barbie as the top-selling doll for girls. It’s partly the growing use of the language of liberation—most often the word ‘empowering’—to describe the new sexual thraldom. And it’s also the realisation that ‘the rhetoric of choice may have burgeoned in this generation, but in many ways the range of female characters and role models available for young girls has narrowed’.

“Girls want to be WAGS, ‘glamour models’ (pose naked without displaying genitals) or even prostitutes because they have been led to believe that these vocations will deliver them the celebrity lifestyle so relentlessly documented in magazines and on television…”

… and in the aisles of toy stores, too, if the Bratz pack has anything to do with it.

Elsewhere: [The Australian] The Tyranny of Self-Perfection.

Britney Spears—Not That Innocent.

By Posted in On the Net Tagged , 1 Comment

 

From “Desperately Seeking Amy” by a guest writer on Overthinking It:

“The first time Spears delved into the fascinating world of singing about yourself through an alter ego, she was eighteen and singing about ‘a girl named Lucky’ back in the days when she was still being marketed as the sweet, virginal, girl-next-door, and before she became, ‘Mrs “Oh my God, that Britney’s shameless”’ . Though Amy and Lucky were born in different eras, they both suggest a deep-seated dissatisfaction with the fast-paced, highly-scrutinized, celebrity way of life. And that can hardly come as a surprise; Britney Spears is forever being criticized in the media for being slutty, or a bad mother, or without integrity, or crazy or stupid-or-blond[e]-or-Southern-or-Sagittarius…

“Lucky ‘cry, cry, cries’ but Amy is stronger. Amy is wiser. Amy is pissed off that if you seek Amy in the club, or smoking outside, or in her home while she’s playing with her kids, Britney Spears gets fucked. That’s what’s really obscene here: her message that says, ‘if you seek Amy’ = ‘F-U-C-K me‘. You might as well. You already have.”

Related: Feminist-Bot.

This is a Story About a Girl Named Britney… I Mean Lucky! Britney Spears Cabaret Review.

The Underlying Message in Glee’s “Britney/Brittany” Episode.

It’s All About Britney, Bitch!

Glee Against the Music.

Elsewhere: [Overthinking It] Desperately Seeking Amy.

UPDATED: Julian Assange—Modern Day Outlaw.

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From The Curvature via Musings of an Inappropriate Woman:

“I am SO SICK today of people who can’t see that:

1) WikiLeaks is important and does good work;

2) Julian Assange may be a rapist;

and

3) The pursuit by the authorities for the rape charges may be motivated as much by WikiLeaks as by a desire to see justice done are not in any way contradictory positions and could all be simultaneously true.”

Also check out Rachel Hills’ further musings on WikiLeaks and Assange here.

And for some more opinions on WikiLeaks, visit MamaMia for Mia Freedman’s compilation of the most poignant, as well as her own admission of jumping to conclusions and maybe not articulating her views as well as she could have.

And here is my original post, published last week:

The Australian founder of whistleblower website Wikileaks, Julian Assange, has handed himself over to police today on “undisclosed sexual assault charges” (allegedly rape, which was then changed to having consensual sex with two women whilst claiming to have worm a condom, but didn’t).

He does have a certain creepy quality to him which makes me think it’s not unlikely he’s committed these crimes, but is that really the issue?

More than likely, these charges have been fabricated to get him behind bars, thus stopping him from publishing more confidential government documents and damaging international relations.

Do we really need to know that the U.S. thinks Kevin Rudd is an “abrasive control freak” or the common perception of world leaders such as Hillary Clinton or French president Nicolas Sarkozy? Most of the stories published in the mainstream media about Wikileaks doesn’t indicate many imperative top secret documents (related to terrorism, nuclear weapons etc.) that the general public arguably has a right to know have been leaked. Obviously there are larger issues at hand: Assange is a threat to global governments.

But here in Australia, Assange’s home country, he is viewed as a hero. Somewhat of a modern day Ned Kelly, if you will. Aussie’s appreciate an underdog sticking it to the man, so despite what his website has published, I think most Australian’s are probably rooting for him.

Elsewhere: [The Curvature] I Am So Sick of People Who Can’t See That…

[Musings of an Inappropriate Woman] I Am So Sick of People Who Can’t See That…

[Musings of an Inappropriate Woman] Quick Thoughts on Julian Assange, WikiLeaks & Those Rape Allegations.

[MamaMia] WikiLeaks: Some Food for Thought.

[MamaMia] Updated: Are WikiLeaks & Julian Assange Forces of Good or a Dangerous Menace?

On the (Rest of the) Net.

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Mia Freedman on Elle’s “weird, weird choice of cover model” in Miley Cyrus for their August 2009 issue:

“Who’s next? Bindi Irwin for Harper’s Bazaar? Stop it, someone is probably organising that right now as I type. Anyway, so while I was still tut-tutting over the fact that she was ON the magazine, I came to the story inside and nearly lost my lunch. Not only did I find the clothes grotesquely inappropriate (nanna-alert!), I was disturbed by the poses. In one shot, she’s got her vagina thrust up to the camera with her stomach exposed.

“In a couple of others, she’s lying back as if waiting for… well, you know what she’s waiting for.”

Girl with a Satchel on Lara Bingle, Kristy Fraser-Kirk and “sexism in the Australian Media”, while Nicole Richie’s Who wedding cover story (out today) is a “fairytale story” of “redemption”.

Why “we need more vampire slayers—just not more Buffy”:

“Buffy made a bold statement in the context of 1990s pop culture: What if this tiny blonde girl, who looks like the victim in every horror movie ever, is actually the monster-killer? What if she’s badder and tougher than everyone else? What if she’s secretly grappling with the weight of the world because she’s the only one who can save us all?

“Whedon often talks about the idea for the original Buffy movie coming from the image of a girl running from a monster, like in every other horror film—but then it turns out she’s actually hunting the monster, and she catches it by surprise. Because she’s not just your typical sacrificial cheerleader.

“That was a radical idea in 1992, and even in 1997. I would be very sad to think it would still be radical in 2012, or whenever this film comes out.”

Questionable scenes in Disney films.

Let’s Drink Tea and Get Laid references last week’s skinny-shaming post in her thoughts on body image, “property” and ownership.

Rachel Hills has some insightful notes on introversion versus extroversion, stemming from The Atlantic’s “Caring for Your Introvert”, which was featured on last week’s “On The (Rest of the) Net”.

Tiger Beatdown on the gender double standards on Glee:

“… Being attacked for being an effeminate man is terrible, and we’ll talk about it and come to a resolution, but being a masculine woman means you should just get used to being everyone’s punching bag.”

Jezebel uncovers “The Surprising Facts About Who’s Hot”, according to scientific studies in David Perrett’s book, In Your Face. So it’s totes, like, factual and shit.